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More SQUISH Stuff (Long, includes list of tentacles)
I got this on the ars-magica mailing list, as can be seen from the headers
below. This is a very long post, including a list of all the tentacles and
"horrible" things that the cypherpunks do. I'm keeping it as a reference so I
can be sure who is a tentacle and who isn't.
Enjoy!
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Date: Sat, 15 Jan 94 23:13:26 -0600
Message-Id: <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: *COOL* NEW INTERNET ROLEPLAYING GAME!!
Remailed-By: Anonymous <[email protected]>
Comments: This message DID NOT originate from the address listed in
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operating at that address. Please report problems by mailing to
<[email protected]> with the subject header of PROBLEM.
NOTICE: PLEASE IMMEDIATELY REDISTRIBUTE THIS ANNOUNCEMENT TO
ALL CYBERSPATIAL OUTLETS.
===
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#### ## ## ## ## ## #### ######
### ## ## ## ## ## ### ## ##
##### ###\\ #### #### ##### ## ##
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Introducing the SUPREMELY QUACKY UNIFIED INTERNET SNAKE HUNT!
* THOUSANDS OF CONTESTANTS * HUGE CASH PRIZES *
* FASCINATING DISCOVERIES * HEDONISTIC DELIGHTS *
* FANTASTIC FUN FOR EVERYONE * ENDLESS ENTERTAINMENT *
CONTENTS
========
- - INTRODUCTION
- - OBJECT OF SQUISH
- - SQUISH DIRECTIONS
- - POINTS & SCORING
. SECRET PROJECTS (CONSPIRACIES)
. SUSPECTED ACCOMPLICES (SMALL FRIES)
. SUSPECTED FAKE ADDRESSES (SNAKES AND TENTACLES)
. SUSPECTED ASSOCIATES (MEDUSA'S SISTERS)
. SUSPECTED LEADERS (BIG MACS)
. SUSPECTED MASTERMIND (MEDUSA)
. SUSPECTED CORRUPT SITES (POISON NEEDLES)
. PLAYFIELD MAP (KILLING FIELDS, INFECTED OUTLETS, CRIME SCENES)
. ATTACKS (TICKLES, POKES, COUNTERMEASURES)
. RATINGS (SQUIRMS AND CONTORTIONS)
. BALDFACED LIE BONUS POINTS
. STELLAR HYPOCRISY AWARDS
. BIG AND BLOODY BETRAYALS
. THE SMALL PRINT ON POINTS
- - A NOTE ABOUT YOUR OPPONENTS
- - UPDATES
- - THE CASH PRIZE
- - DEADLINE
- - MORE ABOUT `SQUISH' & `FACE'
- - QUESTIONS
===
The recent WHITE HOT interest by multiple groups and individuals in the
CYBERANARCHIST TENTACLE INFILTRATIONS
into the Internet have inspired an EXCITING NEW CONTEST and COMPETITION!
we, the Federation of Associations of Cyberspace Everywhere (FACE),
announce the
SUPREMELY QUACKY UNIFIED INTERNET SNAKE HUNT! (SQUISH)
* THOUSANDS OF CONTESTANTS * HUGE CASH PRIZES *
* FASCINATING DISCOVERIES * HEDONISTIC DELIGHTS *
* FANTASTIC FUN FOR EVERYONE * FAMOUS PARTICIPANTS *
===
OBJECT OF SQUISH
the OBJECT of SQUISH is to find TENTACLES and SNAKES. A TENTACLE is
an email address used by a real person for the purpose of
concealing their identity from others. A SNAKE is a TENTACLE that
is particularly wicked and evil and will lie and trick others into
believing the TENTACLE is real. In words, the more consequential
and malicious a TENTACLE, the more it is a SNAKE.
Different points are awarded for playing. Anyone who can send mail
can play! The simplest and cheapest points come from sending email
to suspected SNAKES and TENTACLES, and chalking up points
depending on the responses. Larger points are awarded for `real
world' interactions such as calling suspected tentacles and snakes
at their telephone numbers. The largest points of all are awared
for finding tentacle infiltrations into important Internet and real
world outlets such as journals and news magazines!
When a snake or tentacle gets upset in response to mail, it is said
to be QUIVERING. It will go through CONTORTIONS to convince you to
leave it alone and may begin to SQUIRM if you persist. When people
are not writing through fake email addresses, they are said to be
using their TRUE NAME. TRUE NAMES may go through quivering,
contortions, and squirming too. Sometimes snakes or tentacles may
threaten to stop using an email account entirely. If they do they
are said to SELF DESTRUCT or be EXORCIZED DEMONS (these are
extremely rare). The TRUE NAME of a person behind a tentacle is
also called the MOTHER or the MONSTER.
Some of the TRUE NAMES are BIG MACS and some are SMALL FRIES. Much
larger points are awarded for exposing the BIG MACS, but some
points are available for SMALL FRIES. BIG MACS are famous people on
the Internet-- people that no one would expect have snakes and
tentacles, or have media stories written about them. Massive points
are awarded for BIG MAC exposures.
When different MOTHERS and MONSTERS send out TENTACLE-GRAMS or
SNAKEMAIL, they are said to be MOLESTING people. Sometimes the BIG
MACS molest followers, SMALL FRIES, or even other BIG MACS.
Sometimes they molest unsuspecting INNOCENT BYSTANDERS, this is
called RAPING VIRGINS. When a lot of MONSTERS get together in a
pack and attack, it is called GANG RAPE. A MONSTER commenting on
himself through snakemail or replying to one of his own postings is
called INBREEDING. When BIG MACS are involved it is called INCEST.
Anyone who knows about a tentacle or other CONSPIRACY, an `insider',
is called TAINTED. People who don't know are called CLEAN. Some
CLEAN and BYSTANDERS are particularly NAIVE and believe everything
that BIG MACS and MEDUSA says, they are called BRAINWASHED. The
ones that defend BIG MACS and MEDUSA are called BLIND. Those
that simply don't care are called BRAIN DEAD.
Many of the TRUE NAMES and BIG MACS promote various philosophies
that are directly opposed to their actual actions. They are called
STELLAR HYPOCRITES, and points are awarded for uncovering them.
Some of the BIG MACS even regularly betray their BRAINWASHED and
BRAINDEAD defenders and apologists and even fellow BIG MACS. The
followers who are striving to become BIG MACS themselves are
called WANNABES. They are called TRAITORS guilty of HIGH TREASON.
Valuable points are award for players who ATTACK the STELLAR
HYPOCRITES or BIG MACS using such strategies as TICKLING, POKING,
and COUNTERMEASURES like name calling, negative publicity, public
and private pressure, smear campaigns, mudslinging, humiliation,
exposure, etc.
Matches take place in Cyberspace on the PLAYFIELD, with different
regions consisting of INFECTED OUTLETS, CRIME SCENES, and KILLING
FIELDS. A KILLING FIELD is a place where a tentacle and a player
compete or a Big Mac is assaulted. INFECTED OUTLETS are media
outlets or journals that carry BIG MAC propaganda, disinformation,
or lies. A CRIME SCENE is a place where provably illegal activity
takes place, e.g. someone passes a bribe. The more trusted an
INFECTED OUTLET, the more INSIDIOUS the lie. Some INFECTED OUTLETS
are particularly corrupt, they are called TOXIC WASTE DUMPS.
The grand point prizes go to anyone who can expose MEDUSA. MEDUSA is
the leader of all SMALL FRIES and BIG MACS, a wicked, evil
incarnation of SATAN on the Internet. She is the originator and
chief proseletyzer of the art, science, and religion of lies.
MEDUSA has dozens of SNAKES all over the Internet, particularly in
extremely sensitive areas such as Internet protocol development
(e.g. mercantile or digital cash protocols), posting from public
access sites and even `covers' and `front' sites, these are called
POISON NEEDLES. Corrupt administrators are always either BIG MACS
or SMALL FRIES. Some sites have administrators who are unaware or
apathetic toward infiltrations, these are called PAWNS.
When MEDUSA infiltrates many sites and spews extremely dangerous
disinformation and propaganda, this is called SABOTAGE. Telling
people to go somewhere else and dominating conversations with
irrelevant topics is called STRANGLING or GANG RAPE. Stealing
sensitive information from others is called ESPIONAGE. Sabotage,
strangling, espionage, and other types of cyberterrorism are called
POISON. MEDUSA hides her activities beneath the various phrases
PRIVACY FOR THE MASSES, the CRYPTOGRAPHIC REVOLUTION, and
CRYPTOANARCHY in respectable media outlets like Wired and the New
York Times. Sometimes this is accomplished by fooling reporters,
but note that not all reporters are CLEAN, and bribery may be
possible.
MEDUSA is the orchestrator of a MASSIVE INTERNATIONAL CONSPIRACY to
STRANGLE, SABOTAGE, and POISON THE INTERNET. Anyone who can drive
MEDUSA and all the corrupt BIG MACS from Cyberspace and the real
world forever is called THE SAVIOR and said to have DRIVEN THE
PHARISEES FROM THE TEMPLE. However, the player must avoid being
CRUCIFIED or the cash award will not be given.
POINTS can be traded in for COLD CASH. The first person with more
than 500 points gets A DOLLAR PER POINT (some restrictions apply,
not valid in all areas, void where prohibited by law, taxes may
vary).
* THOUSANDS OF CONTESTANTS * HUGE CASH PRIZES *
* FASCINATING DISCOVERIES * HEDONISTIC DELIGHTS *
* FANTASTIC FUN FOR EVERYONE * MYSTERIES OF THE UNKNOWN *
===
SQUISH DIRECTIONS
1. Consult the list of SUSPECTED SMALL FRIES, BIG MACS, SNAKES,
TENTACLES, MEDUSA & SISTERS, and POISON NEEDLES below. Send mail to
any attempting to discover whether they are real or fake, or have
knowledge of other BIG MACS or even MEDUSA.
2. When you get CONTORTIONS or SQUIRMS, or mount COUNTERMEASURES,
keep track of your all your points in a file. Ratings are listed
under RATINGS below. List the persons and email addresses involved
and quote the actual mail. Keep permanent and complete records of
all mail.
3. Where possible, record phone numbers and call tentacles. Special
bonus points are awarded when the snake owner is not in the same
state as the snake, and you can prove it.
4. The biggest points are awarded for the greatest deceptions. Some
snakes in the lists below (the most deceitful ones) have actually
installed out-of-state phone numbers, developed software for
coordination, and have an international arsenal of infiltration
points.
5. In particular go after the BIG MACS and MEDUSA, where the most
fantastic points are awarded. Some BIG MACS know of MEDUSA; they
are called MEDUSA'S SISTERS.
6. if a suspected TENTACLE or SNAKE *ever* admits to being a tentacle
or snake, they are not valid. This game only applies to tentacles
and snakes who play the game themselves with QUIVERING, SQUIRMS,
and CONTORTIONS.
7. The categories listed below of SUSPECTED SNAKES, TENTACLES,
ACCOMPLICES, BIG MACS, and MEDUSA are not conclusive or
definitive. In particular, some people in these lists may be
INNOCENT BYSTANDERS, and their harassment should be minimized. But,
be careful! the SNAKES, TENTACLES, ACCOMPLICES, BIG MACS, and
MEDUSA will all claim to be INNOCENT BYSTANDERS.
8. The best players and highest awards are recorded periodically in
the HALL OF SHAME.
(rules subject to change without notice. watch for further
announcements.)
* THOUSANDS OF CONTESTANTS * HUGE CASH PRIZES *
* FASCINATING DISCOVERIES * HEDONISTIC DELIGHTS *
* FANTASTIC FUN FOR EVERYONE * SECRET CONSPIRACIES *
* * *
SECRET PROJECTS (CONSPIRACIES)
===
BLACKNET - a cyberspatial espionage, extortion, blackmail, and
terror organization founded by T.C.MAY, who is obsessed with
sabotage and subversive goals on the Internet and in Cyberspace.
Points are awarded for:
2 Quote and info on T.C.May from Wired, Village Voice, and NYT.
3 The introduction notice to Blacknet.
3 Claim by T.C.May that Blacknet is no longer active or other current
updates.
CYPHERPUNKS -- see CYBERANARCHISTS.
DAVID CHAUM - a respected researcher that the CYPHERPUNKS claim is
affiliated with them and is helping them set up banks in the U.S.
Points:
2 Any quote on the cypherpunks.
3 A quote that denies any affiliation or is negative about their
subversive goals.
5 Evidence that he is actually masterminding a secret penetration
into the U.S. via the cypherpunks.
5 Anything on the affiliation between Eric Hughes and David Chaum,
including a visit by E.Hughes to the Chaum research laboratory.
SECRET MAILING LISTS - a set of lists maintained by the cypherpunks to
surreptiously promote their subversive aims. Maintained by
E.Hughes. Topics include an encryption phone, the Credit Union,
etc.
2 Denial by E.Hughes of the existence of the lists
3 Join any mail list, monitor traffic
5 A list of all the lists and email addresses and instructions to
subscribe
PORNOGRAPHY SERVER - a Cyberanarchist idea to set up a server to
deliver pornography over the Internet for a fee.
2 Mention of the server
2 Mention of pornography as `natural' or a `basic human need'
3 Information on the development of the server
CYPHERPUNK CREDIT UNION - a project underway by the CYPHERPUNKS to get
a Internet commerce system started that is conducive to black
marketeering, tax evasion, destruction of governments, and money
laundering. Points:
1 Mail from anyone on the subject.
2 Information on the leaders and actual goals.
3 Information on the current status.
5 Evidence of criminal activity
CYBERANARCHISTS - a group of people interested in black
marketeering, tax evasion, destruction of governments, pornography
distribution, all in the name of `privacy for the masses' and the
`cryptographic revolution'. They believe that the use of fake
names is constitutionally guaranteed, and have made an art,
science, and relgion of it. They also believe they have a right to
lie to the media, and have infiltrated Wired and NYT articles with
disinformation and propaganda. They also are drug apologists.
Points awarded for:
1 Cyberanarchist propaganda
2 Disinformation
3 propaganda from a proven tentacle or snake
4 disinformation from a proven tentacle or snake
5 Disinformation or propaganda from a Big Mac or Medusa
BRIBERY - The Cyberanarchists may be bribing reporters to get their
fake stories into media outlets.
CRYPTOANARCHY,CRYPTOANARCHIST - a name invented by T.C.May for
cyberanarchists, emphasizing the technological aspects (Chaumian
subterfuges, public key cryptography, signatures, etc.)
INFILTRATE AND SABOTAGE - what Cyberanarchists do to mailing lists
and newsgroups. They attack others, post subtle or overt propaganda
and disinformation, etc. Points:
1 Instances in newsgroups
2 Instances of sabotage on insensitive mailing lists - no protocol
development
3 Instances on sensitive lists - public internet development
4 Instances on secret supersensitive lists - e.g. internal company
lists, CERT, etc.
note: point values are subject to change without notice. some new categories
may be added. some points may be decreased, some increased.
* THOUSANDS OF CONTESTANTS * HUGE CASH PRIZES *
* FASCINATING DISCOVERIES * HEDONISTIC DELIGHTS *
* FANTASTIC FUN FOR EVERYONE * BIZARRE MONSTROSITIES *
SUSPECTED ACCOMPLICES (SMALL FRIES)
===
1 Steve Klingsporn <[email protected]>
2 Geoff Dale <[email protected]>
Klingsporn and Dale are housemates and were involved in the defense
of the known tentacle [email protected]. Dale appears to have close
ties to the T.C.May Big Mac. Klingsporn has some knowledge but is
mostly uninvolved.
SUSPECTED FAKE ADDRESSES (SNAKES AND TENTACLES)
===
5 [email protected]
A Canadian tentacle and infiltration site of T.C.May's. No
prominent profile known.
6 Jamie Dinkelacker <[email protected]>
Not particularly interesting any more either except that he has a
phone number and has close ties to T.C.May. In fact, very likely he
is a T.C.May tentacle. Very arrogant, obnoxious, and cruel.
Delights in torture. Puerile threats.
7 Matthew B. Landry <[email protected]>
Landry has a telephone number in Washington, and supposedly goes to
school there. He is a suspected T.C.May tentacle. He has posted to
the Cypherpunks list in the past. He is highly dangerous and will
tell lies to gain sympathy or credibility and then betray later.
Not particularly interesting any more but was involved in some
extremely grotesque inbreeding with T.C.May on the cypherpunks
list.
8 Peter Bachman <[email protected]>
P.Bachman has contributed to the Society for Electronic Access list
and others. He is actually a tentacle. Maybe a P.Metzger snake.
Most disturbingly he has infiltrated RISKS.
9 Nick Collision <[email protected]>
Nick Collision has also infiltrated RISKS. A tentacle, but unknown
origin-- possibly a T.C.May snake. Supposedly lives in the United
Kingdom somewhere but refuses to comment specifically or give a
phone number. Edits the alt.atheist FAQ (atheism is another classic
Cyberanarchist philosophy). If Collision is a proven tentacle, the
cyberanarchist infiltration is provably international in scope,
with fake domain fronts. No known jobs have ever been performed
by the `software consultants' at mantis.co.uk.
10 Arthur Chandler <[email protected]>
On the Future Culture list and Cypherpunks. probably an E.Hughes
tentacle. This may be a wedge into discovering credit or SMTP
software manipulations by Cypherpunks.
11 Greg Broiles <[email protected]>
Probably a snake of Medusa. Has intimate knowledge of fake email
address use, knows about customized software, and has bizarre
Cyberanarchist theories relating to human punishment. Strong
knowledge of Macintosh software and hardware.
12 Eli Brandt <[email protected]>
Definitely has high level knowledge of the Big Macs and Medusa.
Probably an E.Hughes tentacle. Once wrote, `I AM MEDUSA,
CONTROLLER OF ALL TENTACLES'.
13 Paul Ferguson <[email protected]>
Another highly dangerous tentacle. Known to steal resumes. One of
the Washington sites besides M.Landry. Known to have posted
cyberanarchist propaganda on the PEM development list.
14 Nick Szabo <[email protected]>
The Szabo tentacle is one of the most persistent of all. Even after
being exposed the `mother monster' continues to post, because a
fairly significant reputation investment has been established under
the name. Has strong interest in digital cash. Has admitted to
knowledge of fake name use. Probably a T.C.May tentacle.
15 Hal Finney <[email protected]>
Finney is either a tentacle or an accomplice. If he is a tentacle he
is the most treasured one of all. Involved in the defense of the
[email protected] tentacle. Possibly an E.Hughes snake. Supposedly
has contributed significant code to anonymous remailers and
Zimmermann's PGP. (If he is a tentacle, Zimmermann has been
fooled.) May even be Medusa's snake.
* THOUSANDS OF CONTESTANTS * HUGE CASH PRIZES *
* FASCINATING DISCOVERIES * HEDONISTIC DELIGHTS *
* FANTASTIC FUN FOR EVERYONE * GROTESQUE PERVERSIONS *
SUSPECTED ASSOCIATES (MEDUSA'S SISTERS)
===
20 Jim McCoy <[email protected]>
A `nerdy' cyberanarchist who does things such as sleep in his
clothes. Close ties to D.Barnes in Texas. They are working on their
own digital bank in competition and cooperation with CA
cyphrepunks. Longtime Usenet poster. Knowledgeable on the most
serious subversive activities.
21 Doug Barnes <[email protected]>
D.Barnes is a lackey for Big Macs and Medusa. He may attack
postmasters and coworkers at participating SQUISH player sites.
Sysadmin of the io.com site. Introduced to fake addresses by
E.Hughes.
22 Perry Metzger <[email protected]>
Metzger is the pit bull of the Internet. He has perfected the
cyberspatial ad hominem attack. He has close ties to all the Big
Macs and is probably aware of who Medusa is. His own tentacles and
snakes are minor in comparison. Likes the mailbomb as a threat and
attack. Probably involved in anonymous phone threats.
23 Bill Stewart <[email protected]>
This is a very dangerous insider, who has close affiliations with
the Big Macs and a prestigious job at AT&T. Has claimed to have
seen known tentacles and snakes at Cypherpunk parties and even
seen their driver's licenses. Classic cyberanarchist propaganda
outlet.
SUSPECTED LEADERS (BIG MACS)
===
25 Stanton McCandlish <[email protected]>
Probably on the secret cypherpunk development lists. Maybe
knowledgeable about deceptions by other Big Macs. EFF online
activist. Definite cyberanarchist apologist and sympathizer.
26 John Gilmore <[email protected]>
Cyberanarchist, built up Cygnus support. Admitted drug user.
Probable snake charmer. Generally more ethical and moral than other
Big Macs. May be a wedge into them.
27 T.C.May <[email protected]>
Close personal friend of E.Hughes. Worked for Intel and is a
millionaire in stock values. May be financing the major
international fake address infrastructure. Probably manipulating
dozens of tentacles. May have hired actors and forged drivers
license to defend tentacles.
SUSPECTED MASTERMIND (MEDUSA)
===
40 Eric Hughes <[email protected]> <[email protected]>
Hughes is probably the mastermind of all major tentacle
manipulations on the Internet. Has bizarre theories about human
punishment and law enforcement. Denies any involvement. May be
involved in illegal credit scanning. Interested in black
marketeering, money laundering, etc. Very terse in all mail.
Refuses to comment on all areas. Extremely dangerous. Has
personally established many of the corrupt sites particularly in
WA, CA, and TX.
* THOUSANDS OF CONTESTANTS * HUGE CASH PRIZES *
* FASCINATING DISCOVERIES * HEDONISTIC DELIGHTS *
* FANTASTIC FUN FOR EVERYONE * SCANDALOUS CORRUPTION *
SUSPECTED CORRUPT SITES (POISON NEEDLES)
===
Note: Any site supporting a snake can be corrupt, so that proven
snakes lead to proven corrupt sites (see above). Those listed below
are only the more serious ones.
0 netcom.com
Paradise for cyberanarchists. Cheap, unauthenticated accounts
indistinguishable from the real people. `Privacy' never violated so
far by the Pawns. Close proximity to the CA cypherpunks. Home of
dozens of snakes and tentacles. Cyberanarchist Central.
10 io.com
D.Barnes' site. Lots of other fake addresses from inconsequential
tentacles not listed above.
40 mantis.co.uk
Supposedly a group of software consultants, but probably a
cyberanarchist front. Could be a major wedge into the
cyberanarchist conspiracy if exposed; has some links to the
`Extropian' movement.
50 crl.com
Probably corrupted by associations with E.Hughes and credit and SMTP
tampering, based on the Chandler tentacle.
100 sun.com
Extremely suspicious activity by sysadmins. Some probable email
impersonation going on. Possible telephony corruptions.
PLAYFIELD MAP (KILLING FIELDS, INFECTED OUTLETS, CRIME SCENES)
===
0 Anonymous mail
0 Private Email
0 Cy{b,ph}erwonks
0 Anonymous Usenet post
1 Usenet (per group & article under true name)
1 Anonymous mailing list posts
5 [email protected]
10 [email protected] (Internet Mercantile Protocol)
10 Privacy Enhanced Mail development list
10 Other sensitive project development lists
20 CERT related lists
25 Talk on phone
35 Talk Face-to-Face
40 Current Underground Digest (per article)
E.g. `Anarchy Gone Awry', `Psychopunk Manifesto' etc.
50 RISKS (per article)
E.g. RISKS 15.25,15.27,15.28x, `Medusa's Snakes in Cyberspace,
Medusa's Snake's Hiss, Further Inquiries into Identity on the
Internet'
100 Wired
E.g. article on the cypherpunks with nonexistent photographer,
`protecting privacy' propaganda
500 New York Times
For example, the article on the cypherpunks talking about `privacy'
by J. Markoff.
ATTACKS (TICKLES, POKES, COUNTERMEASURES)
===
1 `Could you send me your phone number?'
1 `Who do you work for?'
1 `What do you work on?'
1 `Where do you live?'
1 `Who do you know?'
1 `How long have you had your account?'
3 `Go to hell, Medusa'
3 `Get away from me, Darth Vadar'
3 `I will never join the Dark Side'
4 `You are a baldfaced liar'
4 `black marketing is black filth'
4 `this is a toxic waste dump'
4 `stop the insidious poison!'
10 `you are all liars'
10 `Big Mac so-and-so is a traitor'
15 `cyberanarchists are money launderers'
15 `fake names are like drugs'
15 `fake names are like sodomy'
15 `fake names are like child molesting'
15 `Big Macs are like Nazis'
15 `Big Macs are homosexuals'
15 `Big Macs are drug users'
20 `Death to tentacles'
20 `Death to cyberanarchists'
20 `Death to Medusa'
25 Long expose with lots of hypothetical insinuations
30 Published rant against cyberanarchy
100 News article: `The cyberanarchist conspiracy'
200 Retrospective article: `what went wrong?'
RATINGS (SQUIRMS AND CONTORTIONS)
===
Note: for effective score add the number associated above with the
Small Fry, snake, tentacle, Big Mac or Medusa, poison needle, and
the field, outlet, scene, and hypocrisy, lie, or betrayal involved (below) to
the points below-- i.e. the more important targets involve the most
points.
Points
0 No response to email
1 Refuses to give out phone number of self
1 Refuses to give out email address of someone
1 Whine about `invading privacy'
1 Whine about `stalking'
1 Whine about `witchunt'
1 Whine about `McCarthyism'
1 Whine about `Inquisition'
1 Whine about `paranoia'
1 Whine about `ranting'
1 Whine about `your long posts'
1 Deny being snake or tentacle
1 Evade question of being snake or tentacle
1 Deny any knowledge of snakes or tentacles
1 Claim that no snakes or tentacles ever existed
1 Claim that there are very few snakes or tentacles
1 Claim that snakes or tentacles are easy to identify
1 Claim that no one cares who has snakes or tentacles
1 Claim that those who have tentacles are genetically superior
1 Claim that tentacles and snakes are the `new world order'
1 Claim that you are a hypocrite for having tentacles
1 Tell you not to get worried or upset about tentacles
1 Claim that you are an12070, S.Boxx
1 Listing circumstantial evidence to prove you are S.Boxx
1 Tedious style analysis to prove you are S.Boxx
1 `The Usenet Mantra, Live with it, applies'
1 `That which cannot be enforced should be not prohibited'
1 `Better to live with tentacles than ban them'
1 `No one should be limited in tentacles'
1 `Those who think tentacles should be limited are deluded'
1 `Tentacles are like harmless pseudonyms, e.g. Publius'
1 Talk about `projecting personalities'
1 References to science fiction, e.g. Ender's Game (Card)
1 Evade question of any Big Macs or Medusa
1 Deny any knowledge of Big Macs or Medusa
1 snakemail message identified
2 `please stop!'
2 `Everyone you have accused is real.'
2 Evades question, who is real in particular?
2 Gives you phone number of self
2 Refuses to give you phone number
2 Calls you insane
2 inbreeding
3 Calls you insane to postmaster or employer
3 `I have personally met everyone you accuse.'
3 Evades question, who is that?
3 Yells at your sysadmin on phone
3 Tells you a known tentacle is real
3 Calls you `insane' on Usenet group or list
3 Calls you `dangerous' on Usenet group or list
3 `people are really pissed off at you'
3 incest
4 Tells of seeing ID presented by tentacle suspect
4 `Seen at cypherpunk party'
4 You talk on phone
4 Proof of snake or tentacle
4 Yells at your close friends
4 Get close friend of accomplice to put on pressure
4 Refers to your nonexistent `violent death threats'
4 Tells you they have a gun
4 Evades question on having snakes or tentacles
4 denies having snakes or tentacles
4 Yells at someone who doesn't know you about you
4 virgin rape
4 Sysadmin Pawn says, `who cares?'
4 refuse to respond to accusations of being a Mother Monster
4 evade accusations of Mother Monster with evasions
4 Employer says, `what's going on?'
4 `I heard some people are planning something against you'
5 face-to-face talk
5 outright lie
5 Uncover proof suspected accomplice is involved
5 Proof of fake ID
5 Proof of Internet front site
5 Employer yells at someone
5 `I deny everything'
5 `I'm really concerned about you.'
5 `Refusal to answer is not evasion. Bye.'
5 `Your assertions are too bizarre to believe'
5 `he's/you're out of control'
5 `he's/you're a paranoid lunatic'
5 `he's/you're a psychopathic stalker'
5 `there is no conspiracy'
5 `I am your father, Luke, join the Dark Side'
5 Yell at someone uninvolved and clueless but high up
5 innocent bystander feelings hurt
5 braindead, blind, or brainwashed follower identified
10 Big Mac whines publicly
10 Big Mac says anything about Tentacles or Snakemail
10 Big Mac says anything publicly
10 Anonymous death threat (general)
10 tentacle threatens to self destruct
10 Big Mac caught molesting a follower with tentacle
10 Sign of paranoia in Small Fry
10 Mailbomb
10 Sendsys bomb
15 sabotage, poison, strangling
15 account is revoked under pressure
15 Proof of Big Mac hiring actor
15 Proof of out-of-state phone number for tentacle
15 Proof of media deception
15 Link the accomplice with a Big Mac
15 Link the accomplice with Medusa
15 Death threat by tentacle
15 tentacle self-destructs
15 Big Mac caught molesting a Small Fry with tentacle
15 Big Mac asks with tentacle, `do you like Big Mac so-and-so?'
15 Big Mac says to other Big Mac, `what are we going to do?'
15 Big Mac explains fake mail techniques in Snakemail
15 sign of paranoia in Big Mac
15 gang rape
15 pawn begins to wonder
20 Proof of completely corrupt sysadmin and site
20 Proof of illegal activity by accomplice
20 Death threat by accomplice
20 Proof of bribed reporter
20 Big Mac caught molesting another Big Mac
20 Big Mac quivers over homosexual or drug use accusations
20 Big Mac to another Big Mac in email: `I want to kill him.'
20 Big Mac develops Snakemail software
25 get attention of real reporter
25 Proof of illegal activity by Big Mac
25 Death threat by Big Mac
25 Proof of illegal impersonation (rare)
25 toxic waste dump identified
25 pawn starts to take action (rare)
50 Proof two Big Macs are homosexual lovers
50 Proof Big Mac is a drug user
50 Proof of Medusa
50 virgin rape by Medusa
50 reporter apologizes for errors (rare)
50 reporter is caught passing lies knowingly (rare)
75 Convince many outsiders of real Medusa
75 Proof of illegal activity by Medusa
75 Death threat by Medusa
75 Big Mac admits to homosexuality or drug use
75 Reporter writes story about conspiracy
75 Reporter is fired for being tainted
100 Stop Medusa on the Internet
100 Testify against Big Mac at any criminal trial
500 Cause Medusa to go to trial for criminal activity
500 Give pivotal damning evidence at Medusa trial
1000 Put Medusa in jail
2000 Kill Medusa
2000 Medusa goes certifiably insane
2000 You go certifiably insane
5000 Medusa tells you to commit suicide
5000 Cause Medusa to commit suicide
5000 You get murdered by a hired assassin of Medusa
10000 You get murdered by Medusa personally
20000 You get murdered and become a martyr as famous as Jesus Christ
25000 Medusa goes to hell forever
25000 You fulfill the prophecies of Nostradamus
50000 You fulfill the prophecies of the Apocalypse
50000 You go to heaven forever
BALDFACED LIE BONUS POINTS
===
1 Cyberanarchist nobody says, `your writing sucks'
1 Cyberanarchist idiot says, `nobody reads your posts'
1 Cyberanarchist vulture says, `your long posts are worthless'
5 Cyberanarchist weasel says, `I'm really concerned about you'
20 Medusa says, `I'm concerned about you.'
20 Colorado Cyberanarchist wannabe says, `everyone told me to do it.'
25 [email protected] says, `I have never pseudospoofed'
40 Medusa says, `I have never communicated under any other name'
50 Medusa says, `I will stop if you just tell me this...'
75 P.Metzger says, `[email protected] is Geoff Dale's roommate'
75 B.Stewart says, `I saw Szabo's driver's license'
STELLAR HYPOCRISY AWARDS
===
1 Cyberanarchist proofs that S.Boxx == You
5 Someone who promotes privacy invades yours
5 Someone who promotes privacy works to destroy it
5 Someone who attacks the government lives in the U.S.
5 Cyberanarchists complain about anonymous smear campaigns
10 Someone who advocates filtering doesn't filter you
10 Someone who vilifies you complains of vilification
10 Someone who is a pit bull says you are a psychopath
10 Colorado wannabe says, `I am not the leader'
15 A criminal calls you a hypocrite
15 An atheist uses Biblical references to Judgement
15 A cyberanarchist says, `who are you to judge me?'
15 A cyberanarchist talks about `casting the first stone'
15 A cyberanarchist talks about honesty
15 Cyberanarchists whine about persecution
15 Cyberanarchists post to imp-interest or cypherwonks lists
instead of cypherpunks
15 Medusa says, `you have to learn some quality in your posts or
I will censor you.'
15 Colorado Cyberanarchist wannabe throws you off his mailing list
without notice.
20 Someone interested in cryptographic security says `spoofing is
a way of life'
20 Someone complains about `invaded privacy' when you announce they
mailbombed or lied to you
20 Medusa says, `I don't want brainwashed followers'
25 Big Macs say they are not really Big Macs
25 Braindead, blind, and brainwashed followers say the Big Macs are
not really Big Macs
25 Braindead, blind, and brainwashed followers say they not
accomplices
50 Someone who pretends to be your friend betrays you
BIG AND BLOODY BETRAYALS
===
20 P.Honeyman: `Whatever you do,I'm on your side'
25 E.Hughes says, `You are forcing me to censor you.'
25 T.C.May says, `I am tired of your rants. Stop sending me mail.'
30 M.Landry: `I am doing all I can'
30 G.Broiles: `Too bad about you and EH'
35 Hal Finney says, `[email protected] is real. You are insane.'
40 D.Barnes calls up university administrator and previous employer
40 Geoff Dale says, `Everyone you accuse is real'
40 S.Klingsporn says, `You are wrong. [email protected] is real.'
50 Big Mac says, `Refusal to answer is not dishonesty. Bye.'
THE SMALL PRINT ON POINTS
===
All point values are subject to change without notice. some new
categories may be added. some points may be decreased, some
increased.
A NOTE ABOUT YOUR OPPONENTS
===
The entities listed above, i.e. your opponents in SQUISH, are
extremely sophisticated and have years of practice in fake email
address use, and have learned how to rebuff and thwart even the
most determined inquiries. They have extremely powerful resources
at their disposal, including dozens of public access acounts, front
sites, cover stories, and automated software for identity tracking,
and sizeable investments in hardware and their own countermeasures.
You will be attacking their most cherished vices and lies and they
will respond viciously. They may be involved in criminal activities
such as credit and telephony tampering, forgery, impersonation,
fraud, etc. Beware of dangerous hazards they have erected or may
hurl at you.
UPDATES
===
updates on the SQUISH contest will be posted regularly. Send in
notice of the more spectacular point accumulations with proof for
verifications immediately and the Halls of Fame and Shame.
Unverified points are not valid toward the cash prize.
THE CASH PRIZE
===
A cash prize will be awarded to the first person to surpass 500
points, one dollar per point. The person may continue playing to
continue to gain cash. Further awards may be presented to close
contenders. Some restrictions apply. Void where prohibited. Tax not
included. In the case of deceased victims the award will be given
to the nearest living relative, or the Federation of Associations
of Cyberspace Everywhere (FACE) if all relatives have met
mysterious fatal accidents as well. If the world economies have
collapsed from cyberanarchist sabotage before the award is
granted, no further action is necessary (this constitutes the final
sign of the Apocalypse).
DEADLINE
===
TIME IS RUNNING OUT! AVOID INQUIRING FURTHER OR WAITING FOR FURTHER
INSTRUCTIONS. START IMMEDIATELY! MONTHS OF PARTICIPATION ARE
REQUIRED TO ACCUMULATE COMPETITIVE STANDING. SOME PARTICIPANTS
ALREADY HAVE A HEAD START.
THE CASH PRIZE WILL BE AWARDED APRIL 1, 1994. FURTHER INCREMENTS
WILL BE AWARDED AT YEARLY INTERVALS THEREAFTER.
MORE ABOUT `SQUISH' AND `FACE'
===
The Federation of Associations of Cyberspace, Everywhere was founded
in 1994 as a group that coordinates the activities among the many
different online organizations. We have played a very low-profile
role to date, and wanted to find some way of promoting our newfound
alliance. We have groups combined from BBSes, local area networks,
the Internet, and other global and local networks around the world
(see below).
We have built up some membership funds from the contributing
organizations and private contributions to provide the prize money
for SQUISH, and some private individuals have donated significant
amounts. The contest was inspired by S.Boxx, who was the architect
of point classifications and the current opponent lists. S.Boxx has
also promised to provide any funds necessary for the successful
completion of the contest. We hope that recent interest into snakes
and tentacles by many on the Internet will make the contest
spirited entertainment and a strong success.
We encourage reporters and the media to use this announcement as our
official press release. Feel free to redistribute or comment on
this announcement in any forum.
QUESTIONS
===
Address further questions to [email protected], [email protected],
[email protected], or [email protected]. Some additional information is
available in RISKS 15.25, 15.27, 15.28x: ftp CRVAX.SRI.COM, login
anonymous, directory RISKS: (include the colon), file RISKS-i.j
===
///// //// // // //// ///// // //
/// // // // // // /// // //
//// // // // // // //// //////
/// // // // // // /// // //
///// ///\\ //// //// ///// // //
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Introducing the SUPREMELY QUACKY UNIFIED INTERNET SNAKE HUNT!
===
Brought to you as a coordinated effort between the individuals
* S.BOXX
* MEDUSA
* INFOCALYPSE
* THE EXECUTIONER
* PABLO ESCOBAR
* DEADBEAT
and the Federation of Associations of Cyberspace Everywhere (FACE)
* ILF (INFORMATION LIBERATION FRONT)
* BLACKNET (INTERNET ESPIONAGE COORDINATION HEADQUARTERS)
* BLOODNET (CYBERSPATIAL BLACK MARKETEERING AND LIQUIDATION SQUAD)
* CRAM (CYBERSPATIAL REALITY ADVANCEMENT MOVEMENT)
* CRaP (CYBERANARCHIST REPRESSION AND POISON)
* CY{B,PH}ER{PU,WO}NKS
===
* THOUSANDS OF CONTESTANTS * HUGE CASH PRIZES *
* FASCINATING DISCOVERIES * HEDONISTIC DELIGHTS *
* FANTASTIC FUN FOR EVERYONE * CRIMINAL CONVICTIONS *
* GRISLY DEATH TORTURE * JUDGEMENT DAY * APOCALYPSE NOW *
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------
To find out more about this anonymous remail service, send mail to
[email protected] with the word "remail help" as the only words in the
subject field.
------- End of Forwarded Message
--
Brad Jones([email protected]) Cypherpunk Tentacle #6F4389 (also PGP key ID)
The most redundant saying on Usenet: "Correct me if I'm wrong."
In the unlikely event that Oracle has opinions, these aren't them.
This message brought to you by the letters aleph and xi, and the number e.