Collapse of the Wave Function Predicted, Timing Uncertain

[tcmay@netcom.com (Timothy C. May)]

Ophir Ronen has forwarded us the Dvorak article. I had planned to wait
until midnight to reply, but, hey, it's past midnight _someplace_.

Ophir titles his post "Our Tax dollars at work! (NOT a sick joke),"
but the situation is actually much grimmer than what Dvorak wrote about:

> From: Setheni Davidson (CompuCom)
> 
> Trust Congress? Not With This Unbelieveable Lair of Slop
> PC Computing, April 1994, page 88.
> By John C. Dvorak
> 

>  The moniker -- Information Highway -- itself seems to be responsible for SB
> #040194. Introduced by Senator Patrick Leahy, it's designed to prohibit
> anyone from using a public computer network (Information Highway) while the
> computer user is intoxicated. I know how silly this sounds, but Congress

....rest of Dvorak's April column elided..

Further provisions:

- Speaking on telephones while intoxicated (.03% blood alchohol level)
is also illegal, as the slurred speech interferes with normal voice
recognition and tracking software the NSA runs. "Speak clearly into
the microphone."

- Writing software while on drugs, apparently a longstanding practice
amongst some segments of the hacker community, is banned. As Professor
Denning puts it: "Drugs and code don't mix. This is what got us into
this whole crypto mess in the first place."

- Encrypting while drunk is specifically forbidden. Apparently recent
work in the Cryptologic Science Section of the Agency, and since
confirmed by noted Russian quantum theorist Dmitri Jokovich, is that
careless use of RSA and other NP-confusing algorithms could produce
superluminal effect-before-cause cryptoquantum fluctuations. Based on
the Choate Effect, these fluctuations could cause the collapse of the
universal wave function!

- To ensure that illegal knowledge is no longer carelessly
distributed, and following the example set by our Canadian brothers
(who have limited distribution of several newsgroups related to the
Karla Homulka and Paul Teale matter), the following newsgroups are now
declared contraband in the United States:

sci.crypt
talk.politics.crypto
alt.clipper
alt.fan.david-sternlight
alt.fan.dorothy-denning
alt.fan.clint-brooks
alt.fan.john-dvorak

Have a nice day.


--Tim May


-- 
..........................................................................
Timothy C. May         | Crypto Anarchy: encryption, digital money,  
tcmay@netcom.com       | anonymous networks, digital pseudonyms, zero
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W.A.S.T.E.: Aptos, CA  | black markets, collapse of governments.
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"National borders are just speed bumps on the information superhighway."