[Noise] A vaguely humorous post

["Don M. Kitchen" <don@wero.byu.edu>]

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I saw some fool posting to alt.security among other places trying to
get his basic program to do OTP's. On the off chance that anybody
thinks this is funny, here's my response:

In-reply-to: spy@vs.spy's message of 10 Dec 1995 05:02:17 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.2600,alt.2600.programz,alt.security
Followup-To: alt.2600
Subject: Re: HELP....This will not work; I am perplexed.
Reply-to: don@cs.byu.edu
References: <4adpkp$3id@mercury.initco.net>
- --text follows this line--

> 60  INPUT "HOW MANY ONE TIME PADS DO YOU WANT?";NUMB
[snip]
> 160 RANDOMIZE E
> 170 X=INT(RND(0)*90)+1

This isn't sci.crypt so I won't flame, but I feel I should point out
that "One Time Pad" is a registered trademark of Cypherpunks, Ltd, and
that any inferrence that anything coming out of a basic randomizer is
"One", "Time", or "Pad" is a blatent trademark violation.

As a courtesy to the public, Cypherpunks, Ltd, makes freely available it's
patented One Time Pad technology. Using PGP, you may enter the top-secret
activation code thusly: "pgp +makerandom=[size] [filename]" where [size] is the
size, in bytes, of your Cypherpunk[tm]-generated, super-cryptographically-
secure, ultimate One Time Pad[tm], and [filename] is where you want it
stored. You can rest assured that with your cypherpunk[tm] One-Time-Pad[tm],
not even a Cypherpunk[tm] can break your code without breaking your bones.

> **Have you been compromised?  If the answer is no,
>  you had better think again.

With security ideas like that, I'm not surprised. MD5 man, MD5.

PS, try to zip a large output from pgp makerandom. Now try a large output
from basic. Hmmmm. Which one Just Wont Compress[tm]?

Happy Monday everyone.

PS: got mail crypt working, it's awesome. It's quite seamless, up to the
point where my home box doesn't have incoming mail service and EMACS
doesn't have built in POP or IMAP. (Yet).  But great for nntp and PGP.

Don
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-- 
<don@cs.byu.edu>           fRee cRyPTo!   jOin the hUnt or BE tHe PrEY
PGP key - http://students.cs.byu.edu/~don   or PubKey servers (0x994b8f39)
  June 7&14, 1995: 1st amendment repealed.  Junk mail to root@127.0.0.1
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