[NOISE] Paranormally Good Privacy

[Dave Del Torto <ddt@lsd.com>]

[  Sorry, but I couldn't resist these excerpts from The mini-Annals of  ]
[  Improbable Research ("mini-AIR" Issue #1996-02, Feb, 1996)  --dave   ]

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1996-02-05	Paranormal Spoon Incident

In the last issue of mini-AIR, we offered, free of charge, to test any
reader who wished to know if he or she has paranormal powers. Testees were
instructed to sit in a quiet corner and mentally send us their names and
addresses. Alas, we had to terminate the testing program after readers in
England and Israel reported a rash of bent spoons and then mentally lodged
police complaints against us. We are now engaged in extra-cognitively
presenting evidence to demonstrate that, whatever is bent or twisted, it is
not the spoons.


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1996-02-06	PGP-Y

Our paranormal testing program has already had one commercial spin-off. Our
engineers have developed a truly foolproof data security protocol. It is
called PGP-Y -- "Pretty Good Parasychology." The mechanism is simple. You
imagine that you have transmitted data to someone; that person then
imagines that he has received it. Using PGP-Y, any type of information can
be transmitted over the Internet with complete security. The key is that
the data is transmitted high over the net -- so high that the data actually
travels above the net rather than within it. The data is transmitted
telepathically (and for those who distrust electronic funds, we also have a
scheme for transmitting cash and gold plate telekinetically.)

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--

   dave

_______________________________________________________________
"OK, now everybody who believes in Telekinesis, raise my hand."