Re: Proposed Legislation Regualting Expert Testimony

[rah@shipwright.com (Robert Hettinga)]

A nameless associate, who lives in Albuquerque, seems to have a local
perspective on this...


>Date: Mon, 26 Feb 1996 17:11:54 -0500
>To: rah@shipwright.com
>Subject: Re: Proposed Legislation Regualting Expert Testimony
>
>Bob,
>
>It is clear from the following why the bill did not pass:
>
>>When a cryptologist or computer expert testifies during a criminal
>>defendant's penalty hearing, the cryptologist or computer expert
>>shall wear a cone-shaped hat no less than two feet in height for the
>>duration of the hearing. The surface of the hat shall be imprinted
>>with stars, moons and lightning bolts.
>>
>>Additionally, the cryptologist or computer expert shall be required to
>>wear a white beard no less than eighteen inches in length for the
>>duration of the hearing. The cryptologist or computer expert shall
>>punctuate crucial elements of his testimony by stabbing at the air
>>with a wand no less than one foot in length.
>>
>>Whenever a cryptologist or computer expert provides expert testimony
>>regarding the defendant's methods, the bailiff of the court shall
>>dim the lights of the court room and shall administer two strikes to
>>a Chinese gong."
>
>You see, the conical hat, the beard, and the wand are the costume of Manny
>Aragon,
>the President pro tem of the Senate, and the striking of the gong is the
>conditioned response of Ray Sanchez, the Speaker of the House, to anything
>Manny says.

Of course, *black* hats and goatees on cryptographers are somewhat de
regeur, cf. Sameer, Eric, Derek, etc. By the way, do *you* have a black
hat, Tim?

Cheers,
Bob Hettinga

PS: I'll stop now.

-----------------
Robert Hettinga (rah@shipwright.com)
e$, 44 Farquhar Street, Boston, MA 02131 USA
"Reality is not optional." --Thomas Sowell
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