[NOISE] Unsub Kit

[Dave Del Torto <ddt@lsd.com>]

Grin-noise of the Day. Typos are (sic) as found. Reply-noise to me, not the
list (please). Don't forget to rinse and repeat.

   dave


................................. cut here .................................

From: KJ Fisher <FISHERKJ@SNYDELAB.DELHI.EDU>

> someonme get me off this fucking mailing list

First, ask your Internet Provider to mail you an Unsubscribing Kit.  Then
follow these directions.

The kit will most likely be the standard no-fault type. Depending on
requirements, System A and/or System B can be used. When operating System A,
depress lever and a plastic dalkron unsubscriber will be dispensed through
the slot immediately underneath. When you have fastened the adhesive lip,
attach connection marked by the large "X" outlet hose. Twist the silver-
coloured ring one inch below the connection point until you feel it lock.

The kit is now ready for use. The Cin-Eliminator is activated by the small
switch on the lip. When securing, twist the ring back to its initial
condition, so that the two orange lines meet. Disconnect. Place the dalkron
unsubscriber in the vacuum receptacle to the rear. Activate by pressing the
blue button.

The controls for System B are located on the opposite side. The red release
switch places the Cin-Eliminator into position; it can be adjusted manually
up or down by pressing the blue manual release button. The opening is self-
adjusting. To secure after use, press the green button, which simultaneously
activates the evaporator and returns the Cin-Eliminator to its storage
position.

You may log off if the green exit light is on over the evaporator . If the
red light is illuminated, one of the Cin-Eliminator requirements has not been
properly implemented. Press the "List Guy" call button on the right of the
evaporator . He will secure all facilities from his control panel.

To use the Auto-Unsub, first undress and place all your clothes in the
clothes rack. Put on the velcro slippers located in the cabinet immediately
below. Enter the shower, taking the entire kit with you. On the control panel
to your upper right upon entering you will see a "Shower seal" button. Press
to activate. A green light will then be illuminated immediately below. On the
intensity knob, select the desired setting. Now depress the Auto-Unsub
activation lever. Bathe normally.

The Auto-Unsub will automatically go off after three minutes unless you
activate the "Manual off" override switch by flipping it up. When you are
ready to leave, press the blue "Shower seal" release button. The door will
open and you may leave. Please remove the velcro slippers and place them in
their container.

If you prefer the ultrasonic log-off mode, press the indicated blue button.
When the twin panels open, pull forward by rings A & B. The knob to the left,
just below the blue light, has three settings, low, medium or high. For
normal use, the medium setting is suggested.

After these settings have been made, you can activate the device by switching
to the "ON" position the clearly marked red switch. If during the
unsubscribing operation, you wish to change the settings, place the "manual
off" override switch in the "OFF" position. You may now make the change and
repeat the cycle. When the green exit light goes on, you may log off and have
lunch. Please close the door behind you.