Phill in Zychik Chronicle

[Syed Yusuf <yusuf921@uidaho.edu>]

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by my Libritarian/Chryto-Anarchal Capiltalist friends.


---fowarded message

---------------World Trade & Liberty:

(CyberWire Dispatch June 3rd, brock@well.com for a free subscription) 
Brook Meeks the author of CyberWire calls it a "virtual nuke hurled into
the arcane subculture of encryption technology." So let's go back to the
days before the virtual nuke. 

The father of encryption technology for most of us layman is Phil
Zimmerman, the author of PGP. Essentially, Phil's PGP (Pretty Good
Privacy) allows you to use encryption technology that the government would
have to spend too much time and too much money to bust every message you
sent. Phil's profit on PGP was zero. He offered it for free. The
government, always willing to let no good deed go unpunished, spent the
last 4 years threatening to put Phil in jail for exporting sensitive
technology. Phil didn't export a thing.  Someone - not Phil - loaded PGP
on the net, and lo and behold, the net being a global village, PGP toured
the village. After harassing Phil for four years, the gov't dropped its
case - in large part due to the financial and legal support Phil got from
those evil perverts called Netizens, Net Surfers, Hackers, Cypherpunks,
Electronic Freedom Foundation, Libertarians and other various forms of
traitorous electronic scum. I know his defense fund got a check from me
and my wife. 

Anyway, the government started feeling threatened by hordes of Pagans who
don't worship at the alter called Congress. So it offered us peanut-brains
the Clipper chip. Oops, make that KKKlipper chip. The idea behind the
KKKlipp-your-liberties-chip was that you could have all the privacy you
wanted by using the gov't chip, as long as the gov't had the "key" to
unlock your code. Duh, I don't know why all of us peanut brains didn't
line up to get that chip? What's the matter with Americans? Don't they
know a good deal when they see one. 

So, just to get even with us peanut-brains,
Bill-if-I-can't-look-up-your-skirt-
then-I'm-going-to-spy-on-your-motherboard-Clinton set up rules which
basically made it impossible for the US to compete in the "robust
encryption technologies [field], at a possible loss of $60 billion for US
companies."

Well, for some strange reason one of us peanut-brained Pagans, one of us
low life Hackers, one of us Netizen pond scum smelled buckies. His name is
Jim Bizdos. He's president of RSA. What RSA did was to hook up with some
of those funny speaking, slant-eyed, yellow people called Japanese
scuzzballs. Yup, Jim & the Japs came out with a "monster chipset capable
of scrambling voice and data real time with a 'key length' of up to 1024
bits." 

The operative term here is key length. The longer the key, the better the
encryption. US law says US companies can't export a key length greater
than 40 bits. Now here's the catch: Jim-unAmerican-greedy-guy and them
Thieving-low-down-Japs ain't exporting nutin'. They made the stuff in
Yellow- Peril Country. You know, Japan! Gosh, my fingers shook as wrote
that Jap word. 

Besides being attacked by the Japs, look out for the Limeys (Brits) and
the Frogs (The French). Dem folx is also developing encryption technology
that will put a child molester in every American home, a Republican in
every American trash can and a Democrat in every US toilet. 

Phil Zimmerman was the pioneer, but as Brock Meeks says, PGP is "tough to
use." The RSA chip set works in real time! It scrambles voice *and* data. 

15 low-down-degenerate-self-indulgent-uncaring-countries "have already
placed orders for these chips." Japanese law forbids building chips that
have what's called "an escrow function." An escrow function means the
gov't gets a key to your code.

In other words those damned Japs are attacking us again by making it a
legal requirement that your privacy and mine be protected. Damn, we should
have bombed on the whole country when we had the chance. Hey, tell you
what, after the FBI blows Justus to hell and back, let's send the Federal
Bloodletters and Incinerator-crew after the Yellow People. 

Yup, we don't no world trade. It's a threat to our pure KKKulture. World
trade is also a threat to jobs. If the Gestapo can't listen in on your
phone calls and decode your e-mail what are all those poor little FBI,
BATF, sheriffs, and local cops going to do? 

Comment: We're entering a period of world trade in which any government
that limits the liberties of its citizens will be punished in the market
place by competing governments. The fun has just begun.


Joe Zychik
Editor, The Zychik Chronicle

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