Humor

[Casey Iverson <iverson@usa.net>]

Watch out for the Goodtimes Virus

Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive, scramble any disks that are even
close to your computer, recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so
all your ice cream goes melty,demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards,
screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field harmonics 
to scratch any CD's you try to play.

It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix
Kool-aid into your fishtank.  It will drink all your beer and leave
its socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming over.
It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit pants
and hide your car keys when you are late for work.

Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin.  It will give you
nightmares about circus midgets.  It will pour sugar in your gas tank
and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your current boyfriend
behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Visa
card.

It will seduce your grandmother.  It does not matter if she is dead,
such is the power of Goodtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to
sully those things we hold most dear.

It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it.
It will kick your dog.  It will leave libidinous messages on your
boss's voice mail in your voice!  It is insidious and subtle. It is
dangerous and terrifying to behold.  It is also a rather interesting
shade of mauve.

Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease.  It will leave the toilet
seat up.  It will make a batch of Methamphetamine in your bathtub and
then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase
gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.

These are just a few signs...  Just be very careful!

CI