Dorothy and Not-Toto Do D.C.

[Dick Liquor <dl@swallow.cum>]

[Routers--July 1, 1997]

CHEMICAL SPILL BY THE RIVER, U.S.A.:
  PRESIDENT Clinton, commenting on the British retreat from Hong Kong,
told reporters, "The Chinese are a nuclear power, so the British had
to 'put on a happy(~diplomatic) face' as the Chinese troops rolled in,
no matter what the Chinese did at Kent State, Waco and Ruby Ridge."
  When his 'faux pas' was pointed out, Clinton laughed it off by saying,
"Well, you know how it is...you kill a dissident and, an hour later,
you want to kill again."

  A reporter who recently spent the night in the Lincoln bedroom saved
the President further embarassment by changing the subject to the recent
telivised debate on encryption between Dorothy Denning and Tim C. May,
a grouchy old cypherpunk.
  Clinton seized the opportunity to play to the law and order crowd,
responding, "That crazy bastard bit her fucking ear off! This kind of
disgusting incident is exactly what our encryption policy is designed
to address."
  When pressed to explain his statement, the President stated that if
Mr. May had not been exposed to ear-biting pornography spread across the
Internet with strong encryption, that children would not now be exposed
to it in the televised news coverage of the May-Denning incident."

  When reporters asked about the Paula Jones incident, President Clinton
replied, "I think she has me confused with Mike Tyson."