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Arachelian wins Nobel Peace Prize




[EFF-Bienfait, Saskatchewan]
September 11, 1997

  RAY ARACHELIAN, a member of the soon-to-be-outlawed CypherPunks 
crypto-military organization was presented with a forged Nobel Peace 
Prize early this morning in recognition of providing proof for his long 
held Kaos=Keraunos=Kybernetos theorem.

  In response to a question by Russian double-secret agent Igor Chudov, 
who asked, "How do you generate 'chaos'?," Arachelian responded:
"If you're the FBI, you simply say you're gonna push laws to ban all 
non-escrowed crypto, and that causes imemdiate chaos on the cypherpunks 
lists. You then get a bunch of SHA1 digests of the messages and you've 
got plenty of random numbers. :-)"

  EFF decided to award Arachelian a forged Nobel Peace Prize, not for 
the originality of his idea, but for the fact that he had the audacity 
to steal the idea from fellow CypherPunk, Tim C. May, who would have 
suggested it in the 1989 CypherPunks archives, if the legendary mailing 
list had been operational at that time.
  The award was presented by a rather disheveled looking fellow who 
couldn't remember his name, but who told Arachelian, "I'm a very 
important man." before pausing to pick something out of his teeth, and 
continuing, with two raised fingers, "Peace."

  Asked for comment, Arachelian stated "I thought he'd never leave. Did 
you get a load of his _breath_? Whooeee!"


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