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Y2K ANNOUNCE>> If I were President/Dictator




>Date: Fri, 12 Dec 1997 09:06:22 -0600 (CST)
>To: [email protected]
>From: [email protected]
>Subject: Y2K ANNOUNCE>> If I were President/Dictator
>Sender: [email protected]
>
>Last month Peter de Jager announced a contest to submit
>suggestions about what you would do about the year 2000
>problem if you were president (of any country) for a day.
>Peter also suggested that humorous entries be submitted
>with the title "If I were supreme dictator!"  Below you
>will find the winning entries along with some of the
>honorable mentions.  --Cliff Kurtzman
>
>--------------------------------------------------------
>Greetings folks,
>
>    The "If I were President" contest winner (out of 99
>entries) is Nancy L. Osterhaus.  The "If I were Dictator"
>contest winner (out of 20 entries) is Richard Kennard.
>You will find both entries below, along with a number of
>the honorable mentions.
>
>    Contests are tough... I find a 'winner' out of the
>many good and excellent submissions to always come down
>to a handful of choices... and choosing at that point
>is honestly a random event. It is seldom a winner is a
>'certain' winner. Nancy... you won... and the others?
>several came very close and two others were a toss up.
>
>    The "If I were Dictator" entries were even tougher
>to judge. Especially since after awhile... some were
>beginning to make sense!!! (I need to get a life!)
>Sad thing is... some of these are considered as serious
>suggestions by some of the people I've spoken with over
>the years.
>
>
>  I can only do my best...
>  Peter de Jager, [email protected]
>========================================================
>
>
>IF I WERE PRESIDENT
>===================
>
>Winning Entry:
>
>From: "Nancy L. Osterhaus"
>To: [email protected]
>Date: Tue, 21 Oct 1997 16:55:37 -0500
>Subject: If I were President
>
>Action Items:
>
>1.  Communication to the world the magnitude of the problem, the real
>issues, the real impact
>
>This is a denial project.   Most people do not understand the impact of the
>year 2000 on them.. on their lifestyle, the way they do business, and their
>health and future.  I work in a large company that has a strong awareness
>campaign, but during my "time off" talk to local businesses, hospitals,
>etc.   They are very unaware of the issues.  If the grand Y2K world-wide
>project, is to succeed, we need to get past the first phase ....
>Communication & Commitment.  The president could enable this by holding a
>Town Meeting with a panel of experts to explain the problem, impact,
>solution, and government plans for compliance.
>
>2.  Commitment to prioritize and repair of what he's responsible for
>(Government systems, banking, infrastructure, etc.)
>
>Publishing a plan to show people that this is a serious issue, and the
>government has taken the step of prioritizing their systems and developed a
>plan to ensure compliance.  Publish the individual department plans,
>lessons learned, etc.
>
>3.  Publicly report on the progress of government Y2K projects on a regular
>basis (at least quarterly)
>
>Report to the nation and to the world on the progress of year 2000
>compliance in the government sector.  By providing regular updates to the
>nation we will gain increased awareness of the issues and in addition we
>can hold our government accountable for their projects and progress towards
>compliance.
>
>Nancy
>
>==========================================================================
>
>And here are a selection of other suggestions: Some of the good ones,
>most of the great ones and a handful of ringers. You decide which is which.
>Yours truly, Peter.
>
>From: "Dyer, Wayne"
>
>1. Request congress to modify tax code
>        The costs of a company making corrections for Year 2000 should be
>considered an investment in the future - therefore they should be
>treated favorably at tax time. Everything possible should be done to
>encourage companies to deal with the problem - and tax policy is the key
>way to influence business decisions.
>
>2. Limit year 2000 liability
>        The year 2000 problem was caused by "standard practices" in the
>software industry. No company should have to worry about mega lawsuits
>because of year 2000. Companies can be held accountable for the quality
>of their products, but absolutely nothing will be gained by shareholder
>suits against companies merely because they didn't start early enough to
>fully correct the problem
>
>3. Change Social Security earnings limits
>        Retired programmers should be encouraged to "come out" of
>retirement to
>work on year 2000. Because social security benefits are reduced for each
>dollar earned above a set limit, many will probably not want to work.
>This limit should be waived for people working on YR2K.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: Kevin Whelan
>
>1. Require Y2K preparedness report from all organizations.
>Require all organizations to file a standard report that would be
>available via Internet on their Y2K preparedness status.
>
>2. All software/hardware vendors publish Y2K info on Internet.
>Require all manufacturers and software vendors to publish by specific
>model and/or version the Y2K compliance status of each of their products in
>use, to be viewable on the Internet.
>
>3. Monthly Y2K TV program during prime time.
>The government will sponsor an hour Y2K awareness TV program monthly
>during prime time from 1998 until it's over.
>
>Kevin
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: Iain MacKenzie
>
>1. Raise awareness. Real awareness. Tell the people that this is a *real*
>problem, on *all* makes, models, types of computer. Tell them that
>*everything*
>should be checked. Explain *why*. Explain the difference between 'is
>capable of
>storing' and 'is actually populated with' and the connection this has to
>2-digit data entry, for example.
>
>2. Explain what every computer-owner should be doing. Tell them what they need
>to do to check and resolve their own problems. This is the 'facts and data'
>part of the message.
>
>3. Talk about scheduling and panic. There *is* time to fix the problem. (There
>*has* to be, the time is fixed. We (Y2k folk) will have to vary our
>solution as
>time goes by). If all companies establish a plan and follow it we will all end
>up with a h*** of a party on 31/12/1999 but no major problems. A sort of 'Your
>*Company* Needs YOU' message.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: "Mau, Michelle"
>
>IF I WERE A PRESIDENT..
>1.      Make Giants Pay
>Make  the major  computer giants - SUN, IBM, MICROSOFT, SAP, ORACLE,
>etc, to contribute $1 billion each for each year  until the year 2001 to
>fund the awareness campaign of the y2k. The idea is to highlight the
>criticality side of y2k which is a business problem - not just an IT
>problem. Everyone from floor operations right through to the  middle
>management up to the senior management should be aware of this bug and
>its impact to the running of the business.  School children should also
>have some idea what this is all about as they are our growing IT
>customers.  Most of  them are already familiar with the Internet and
>computer games.  It is time for IT to lift its game and include everyone
>on y2k - equity through IT is great to break down the social barriers
>and the barriers of haves and haves-not.
>
>2.      TAX   Incentives
>Have an incentive program for SMEs (Small and Medium sized enterprises)
>to have at least 70 percent tax deductions for their expenses in
>managing and fixing y2k bug before Dec 31, 1999. After Dec 31, 1999, the
>tax deduction will be lowered to 30 percent so that these organisations
>will be motivated to start their y2k project now than later to make such
>claims from their tax.  This is already happening in Singapore. It will
>be great if developed nations like Australia could bring this policy
>into effect immediately rather than leaving it a bit  too late.  SMEs
>are the backbone of the industries in this country and they should be
>assisted and motivated to launch their y2k project.  y2k compliance
>definition and testing tools should be made available to everyone via
>the NET, brochures and awareness campaign which I have already
>mentioned.  Perhaps the example set by our Victoria Premier Jeff Kennett
>in providing  jobs  to the unemployed to test software compliancy with
>y2k using a set of standard tools  should be applauded.
>
>3.      Product Compliance Info through the NET
>Use the web to publicise which products are y2k compliant. If these
>products are not yet compliant, where do users get more updated info and
>when will these products be compliant? Which version or model? What
>course of action is recommended to users - retire, replace or risk it?
>What about products which have embedded technology  that may have impact
>on the organisation?
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: "Dyer, Wayne"
>
>1. Request congress to modify tax code
>       The costs of a company making corrections for Year 2000 should be
>considered
>an investment in the future - therefore they should be treated favorably at
>tax time. Everything possible should be done to encourage companies to deal
>with the problem - and tax policy is the key way to influence business
>decisions.
>
>2. Limit year 2000 liability
>       The year 2000 problem was caused by "standard practices" in the
>software
>industry. No company should have to worry about mega lawsuits because of year
>2000. Companies can be held accountable for the quality of their products,
>but absolutely nothing will be gained by shareholder suits against companies
>merely because they didn't start early enough to fully correct the problem
>
>3. Change Social Security earnings limits
>       Retired programmers should be encouraged to "come out" of retirement
>to work
>on year 2000. Because social security benefits are reduced for each dollar
>earned above a set limit, many will probably not want to work. This limit
>should be waived for people working on YR2K.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: Noel Goyette
>
>1.  Fire the head (not the CIO) of agencies which have not made real
>progress now.  Time is a lever which is rapidly getting shorter, and
>agencies are laying this problem on the CIOs without resources.
>
>2.  Get the SEC to investigate the real Y2K project status of industry,
>starting with the embedded systems in the utilities.
>
>3.  Reconsitute the Continuity of Operations Plans of the federal
>government, which have been abandonded and unfunded as a result of the end
>of the cold war.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: "Joe Allegra"
>
>1.  Convene a meeting for a couple of days in Washington DC with
>Government and Business Leaders to discuss this issue.  I would prep
>the meeting by coming up with a list of 10 questions that CEOs need
>to ask themselves.  For example:  Do you a credible plan to become
>Year 2000 compliant?  How big is this IT project relative to other
>IT projects?  Has your IT staff ever attempted a project of this
>size?  What is the track record of your IT department in completing
>large projects on time? If you lost all of your computer systems,
>what would be the impact to your business.  etc. etc.  I would also
>bring in people that could document through real live experiences
>how big the project really is.
>
>Having a Washington based meeting convened by the President would get
>the media into this in a big way.
>
>2.  I would convene a high level group to monitor and report monthly
>on the compliance activities of the key sectors of the economy.
>Alan Greenspan to monitor the banking system; others to monitor
>transportation, power, telecommunications.
>
>3.  I would ask the Group of 7 (or is it 8) countries to convene a
>special meeting to discuss this issue at the president/prime minister
>level.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: Eugene Hatting
>
>1)      Institute legislation that ALL government institutions must have
>started taking adequate steps by December 1997, in order to address the
>year 2000 problem.
>
>2)      Institute legislation that all large non-governmental
>companies/corporations who make a positive contribution towards the
>economy, must have started taking adequate steps by December 1997, in order
>to address the year 2000 problem.
>
>Hefty penalties and possible criminal prosecutions could follow if the
>above institutions do not abide by these rulings.
>
>3)      I would institute certain tax benefits or other insensitives to
>those companies who have taken adequate steps to address the problem and/or
>who have obtained year 2000 compliance (as defined by my governmental
>department) by date  x.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: Yvonne Rediger
>
>1.  Tax break/incentive program for companies that are compliant by a
>specific date.
>        The companies would have to prove compliancy by a set of citeria,
>put in
>place by a board, and that      board would award #2.
>
>2.  A CSA approved Logo.
>        The Logo could be placed on their products and displayed on
>advertising
>etc.  proclaiming them Year 2000 Compliant.  Thus selling insurance that
>their company will be around in the coming years.  Right now any company
>can make that claim.
>
>3.  Make government departments set specific delines for their own
>compliancy and stick to them.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: Dr. Ibrahim El-Miligi
>
>a) Set up a presidential working group (please not a committee) to over see
>that :-
>       * All government and semi-government  organizations have or set up a
>plan and initiated action to be Y2K compliant. If not then some penalties
>should be levied (including the firing of some heads)
>        * Should report to me regularly in special meeting of cabinet
>ministers.
>
>b) Media awareness! Medial will be instructed to focus on the Y2K problem
>with interviews, discussion groups, research programs, case studies .. etc.
>I noticed in my country that there is a miserable state of media awareness!!
>
>c) I will sponsor conferences and other forums to give the right perspective
>to the public of the seriousness of the problem.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: Rick Mol
>
>The government should not be in the business decision business.  The year
>2000 issue is basically an issue for the various companies to solve
>themselves.
>
>Historically, when government gets involved in making these types of
>decisions, it doesn't do near as good of a job as the free market.  What we
>would end up with is a series of legislative fiats that are made by people
>that have no concept of the problem.  They seem to have this idea that "we
>can pass a law and fix this".  What will happen is that this will cost the
>industry money and add more requirements.
>So, if I were President, I'd get out of the they way and let industry solve
>it themselves.  They will do a MUCH better job than legislation will.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: Barry Blauer
>
>     1. Appoint a leader:
>        Choose a project leader to direct a project to make the entire
>        government (our enterprise) compliant for the Year2000.  Give this
>        person authority to marshall the resources, establish the plan, and
>        direct the effort.
>
>     2. Issue the challenge:
>        Request every direct report to deliver a complete plan of handling
>        the Year2000 problems within his/her organization, including
>        resource requirements,  Require prioritization from each group,
>        identifying mission-critical systems which would cause disasters if
>        they were allowed to fail.  The plan needs to include a completion
>        date of 12/31/1998 for all renovation.
>
>     3. Inform the customers:
>        Develop a mechanism to report to the public the regular progress of
>        the project, within national security boundaries.  Challenge
>        private industry to follow our lead, to ensure the entire country
>        will be prepared when the clock rolls over.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: MATTHEW CHAPMAN
>
>1) Ensure that there was a "Year 2000 Czar"  in charge of Government
>compliancy.  This position/person would be chartered with first
>establishing the state of where the Federal Government stands as a
>whole in the scope of making the government systems Y2K compliant.
>The fist "charter" of this Czar, would be to make sure the military is at the
>head of the list, and that all possible scenarios are being investigated,
>analyzed, and ultimately made to be compliant.
>
>2) I would personally address my fellow world leaders with the same
>charge, for them to actively pursue this issue as a "top" priority, once
>again with initial focus on their weapons stockpiles and missile silos.
>
>3) I would provide periodic updates to the nation, as to the status of the
>country as a whole.  This would acknowledge the Y2K issue as one of
>importance, that should not be ignored or postponed any longer.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: Ric Kelperis
>
>     1) Recognize the importance of resource continuity, and waive taxes
>     for all I/S employees that maintain their current employment. This
>     would not only incent people to stay where they are, but to perform
>     well also.
>
>     2) Assign a United States Year 2000 Secretary
>
>     3) Require a public quarterly status report from all departments of
>     government.
>
>     4) Require independent certification for all life threatening
>     situations, such as air traffic controlling software, etc.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: "William Baker"
>
>1. Assess the outcome which is most predictable, given the
>    actions in motion in government and the private sector.
>    Charter a highly visible and media exposed team to report
>    this assessment by Q1 1998.
>
>2. Pass legislation limiting legal and liability ramifications of
>    non-compliant systems, try to avoid a disaster in the courts,
>    frivolous law suits, and the destruction of the US economy
>    by lawyers.
>
>3. Establish a SWAT team ( or teams ) which can be directed at
>    the most serious problems of internal and interfacing
>    conversion and education issues within pinpointed Federal
>    government " hot spots."
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: nara
>
>Rename the year after 1999 as 199A (A for 10 in hex):
>
>Call an international conference of all world leaders (UN would have
>served a useful purpose) and rename the year after 1999 as 199A.
>
>Declare 'A' as a character as well as a integer in all new programs.
>
>This would at least buy us some time and name the year after 199A as
>2000.  We can buy more time by renaming the following year as 199B and
>so on...
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: John Austin
>
>1.      Let the public know.  The American public is still mostly unaware
>that there is a problem.  The president needs to let the American public
>know that everyone may have problems in 2000 or even before--and that it
>might be your bank, gas station, power company, etc. that might fail.
>
>2.      Wake the US government up.  Many agencies still have not got a
>workable Year 2000 plan.  Chief concerns are the Defense Department and
>the IRS (which finds itself asking for more and more money).  While more
>attention is being paid to the latter, with budget crunches we are
>likely to come a cropper on 1 January 2000 (or later).
>
>3.      Sell Y2K Budget to Congress.  To do all this will cost many many
>dollars.  A chief issue will of course be to get these increased budgets
>for these agencies through this Congress, which wants to cut deficits.
>A sales job showing that money spent now will save more later is needed.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: "Vernon K. Jacobs"
>
>(1) begin the development of a backup system to substitute
>a national sales tax (either temporary or permanent) to secure
>government revenues when the IRS computer systems stop working
>after 12/31/99,
>
>(2) veto any legislation that will require added time and funds
>to be spent on computer systems to the extent that any new
>projects would compete with resources needed for the year-2000
>efforts
>
>(3) require an immediate study of all government agencies and
>activities that are not essential to the survival of the country
>and develop a plan to shut down the systems of those agencies
>or projects until all other agencies have become 2000-compliant.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: "Bruins, David "
>
>First:
>I would request a press conference in the morning with representatives
>from both national news and computing periodicals.  Representatives from
>companies that have successfully converted their software  would be
>asked to attend and answer questions.  The emphasis would NOT be on what
>COULD happen, but on what to do to fix it so NOTHING happens.  Enough
>has been said on the potential problems and almost nothing has been said
>on how to fix it.
>
>Second:
>I would request that any Government organization that is still running
>this effort as a development project to halt the "development cycle" and
>start identifying and fixing code.  The point must be made clear that
>this is not a 'Development' project.  This is a system bug.  The process
>that is required to correct system bugs must be followed, not the
>development cycle.  We are not developing anything new, we are fixing
>code that does not work.
>
>Third:
>I would propose a bill that would require that all systems, that may
>cause the loss of human life due to a software or hardware failure due
>to the turn of the century, be certified by 12/01/1998.  All identified
>systems would be published, monthly up to that date and weekly after
>that date, as being certified or not certified.  Use of uncertified
>systems would be illegal after November 1999 attempted  manslaughter.
>The number 1 criteria for certification would be that the system can be
>tested for what will happen at the turn of the century.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: "Rice, Bernie"
>
>1.      I'd use the bully pulpit.  Encourage public not to panic but to
>be aware, and encourage the business community to pool efforts to
>address the problem, like they did with regard to High Definition
>Television.
>2.      Establish a national telephone tree among Fortune 500 companies
>to allow them to assist each other in the event of a crisis in any one
>organization.
>3.      Take this unprecedented opportunity to deliberately dismantle
>the IRS as we know it.  If no one else does, Year-2000 complications
>undoubtedly will, and with no forethought at all.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: Capers Jones
>
>1) Suspend anti-trust regulations for all year 2000 repairs and
>encourage key industries to pool their year 2000 work.  Key industries
>include banks, insurance, defense, telecommunications, airlines, public
>utilities, etc.
>
>2) Have the IRS issue a public statement that they will not
>automatically come after taxpayers whose returns are messed up due to
>year 2000 errors.  Since the IRS itself will probably not be compliant,
>this is the least they could do.
>
>3) Have the OMB publish a weekly update on year 2000 status of all
>federal agencies, with contact information on all Y2K offices so that
>citizens who have problems will know who to deal with.  This should
>start in January of 1999 if not earlier.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: "Dominic Ng"
>
>     1) Setting up the standard for the Y2K problem solution
>
>        Nowaday, the Y2K solutions between different consulting firms
>        are different. If each systems are stand alone, well that's ok.
>        However, they are communicating with each other through EDI or
>        network, incompatibility between each system may worsen the
>        situation. Therefore solution standard is very important in
>        term of windowing or date format.
>
>     2) Asking the supervision from Federal Reserve department
>        and Technology department
>
>        In the Y2K problem, the most suffering group would be financial
>        institution because their business are highly depend on electronic
>        exchange in term of date calculation. For this reason, Federal
>        Reserve department and Technology department should supervise their
>        Y2K projects meeting the deadline. The main aim is to avoid the
>        crashdown of financial market.
>
>     3) Financial assistance for the poor companies
>        in Y2K project
>
>        Y2K project is a expensive project especially for the old system
>        because the skill is uncommon. Some small-sized or medium-size
>        companies may not be able to prepare resource for Y2K project
>        within a short period of time. Therefore government should provide
>        financial assistance such as loan for the poor companies in Y2K
>        project.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>From: (no name only e-mail address)
>
>I would just ignore the whole year 2000 and leave it for the Republicans to
>deal with
>
>I would raise taxes to help the government deal with the problem and redirect
>the tax revenue to my pet projects
>
>I would assign the project to Hillary to set up a task force and raise public
>awareness and get them off my back about the other issues
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>============================================================
>============================================================
>============================================================
>============================================================
>============================================================
>
>
>IF I WERE DICTATOR:
>===================
>
>Here's richard winning entry.
>From: Richard Kennard
>Date: Thu, 23 Oct 1997 08:50:29 -0500
>
>"If I were supreme dictator"
>
>I'd give it to Hilary to fix.
>
>============================================================
>
>Honorable mentions:
>
>From: "jtepley"
>
>1) Declare martial law and appoint a Y2K Czar to triage government,
>industry, and company functions and systems.
>
>2) Draft anyone with professional computer experience, leaving 50% at their
>current employer and using the other 50% to work on high priority (triaged)
>government, industry, and company systems. Shoot selected protesters as
>examples.
>
>3) Pass and enforce a law that requires all citizens to "kiss their ass
>goodbye" every morning when they wake up until the year 2025.
>-----------------------------
>
>From: "Dyer, Wayne"
>
>1. Declare that year 2010 follows year 1999. Then declare that 1999 was
>really 2009, 1998 was really 2008, etc. etc. It would be much more
>efficient to just change all the dates in files without changing date
>logic. This would work in about 75% of the instances where companies only
>deal with a few years in the future or the past.
>
>2. Change our current 7 day a week calendar to a 10 day a week calendar.
>That way nobody would know what days of the week dates fell on in the past,
>so nobody would care if date logic was fouled up!
>
>3. Make anybody who screams about the imminent collapse of society on Jan
>1, 2000 write 10,000,000 times "I will not try to incite panic for my own
>benefit anymore".
>-----------------------------
>
>From: Brad_Balassaitis
>
>1. Copyright the Phrase "Year 2000"
>The first thing I would do is copyright the phrase "Year 2000" so that I
>could charge royalties (or sue for infringement as the case may be) every
>time it is printed, spoken, or even thought of. (I'm supreme dictator, so I
>can copyright common words!) I would make a fortune (which I would keep in
>cash under my mattress, of course).
>
>2. Collect the Royalties and Infringement Damages
>Next, I would assign the entire staff of the CIA to spend all of their time
>checking for copyright infringements, so that I could collect my rightful
>royalties and infringement damages.
>
>3. Move to a Country that is Compliant!
>Finally, I would move myself, my family, and my fortune to the first
>country that is totally year 2000 compliant!!! Thus, I have (a) made a
>fortune because of the problem, (b) put no thought, stress, or effort into
>solving it, and (c) gone to a place where the problem is already taken care
>of! (How truly American of me!)
>-----------------------------
>
>From: Eric de Katow
>
>Plan-A: Hire Superman to rotate the earth backward, just like he did to
>save Lois Lane, except he will go a couple years back. Then he will be in
>charge of convincing the World of the magnitude of the Y2K problem and need
>for readiness.
>
>Plan-B: Enact a law that will make the Year 2000 the Year 1900.
>
>Plan-C: Become a lawyer.
>-----------------------------
>
>From: Eugene
>
>1)      Have all calendars in America changed to tick over on 31 December
>1999, to 1900 when the clock strikes 12:00. All other countries (trade
>partners) would then just have to fit in with this arrangement (In South
>Africa we have a saying: "Adapt or Die").
>
>2)      In case some companies forgot to change their calendars to the
>above ruling, these companies/individuals will be forced to do business
>with ONLY those who are not year 2000 compliant and will pay a penalty of
>$1 000 000,00 per day for every day they are not compliant.
>
>3)      If the above two rules are not feasible, I would use the satellites
>which Bill Gates planes to have put into space, to automatically download
>the latest Windows 2000 and Office 2000 software on all computers across
>America. A rule would then be implemented that everybody WILL be forced to
>use the Microsoft products.
>-----------------------------
>
>From: Marilyn Nolin
>
>I would declare that when the year rolls over to 2000, it would actually be
>1900! Like any good politician, I would pass the buck to the next
>generations.
>
>-----------------------------
>
>From: Dr. I. El-Miligi
>
>Dear Peter,
>As in many countries (first, second or third world) scapegoats are required
>to celebrate the turn of the centure. So, if I were a Zomba King, this is
>what I would do :-
>
>a) Set up a royal commission headed by the most hated minister and assign
>to them to solve the year 2YK problem
>
>b) Set up another royal commision to see that the first commission does NOT
>achieve its goals
>
>c) Set up a court martial on the eve of the first day of the 21 first
>century to execute the responsible persons In this way, the blame is place
>somewhere the our good people will get rid the hated minister, Sorry, but
>the Y2K is not solved yet.
>
>May our royal blessings be with you,
>-----------------------------
>
>From: Herve Klein
>
>i would first ban all computers in my country and replace all of them with
>chinese type abacuses.
>
>second, it would create so many jobs that all economical crisis would
>disappear, giving all unemployed enough work for centuries : replacers of
>obsolete plastic computers by sweet wooden frames, manufacturers of modern
>automatic abacuses, finger assisted trainers, ...
>
>third, wait for 1st january 2000 world crisis to sell (high price) my
>nation's knowledge to all other worldwide countries in need as i would have
>become, then, a visionary precursor !
>
>-----------------------------
>
>From: "Rice, Bernie"
>
>If I were supreme dictator...
>1.      I'd Issue Year-2000 bonds. Lots of 'em. Redeemable when government
>computer (non-Y2K compliant) reaches 2000 AD (1999,1900,1901...)
>
>2.      Simplify things and decree AD 2000 shall be The Year of Rice One.
>(Well, Rice Zero, I suppose.)
>
>3.      Avoid holiday travel in year-end 1999.
>-----------------------------
>
>From: "Hughes, Rich"
>
>If I were Supreme Dictator/President Clinton for a day, what would I tell
>the world about the Year2000 problem? I would:
>
>1.) Tell the CIO's/CEO's of all american companies that this Year2000
>"problem" is a fabrication by some opportunistic consulting companies and
>that they really have nothing to worry about. If they haven't started by
>January 1998, let them die (their company) with dignity, don't point out
>their mismanagement.
>
>2.) Tell the world the truth, the US Federal Government has been treating
>this so lightly that many of the agencies are going to be so screwed up
>that they are going to have to hire 100,000's of thousands additional
>do-nothings at exorbitant salaries and that the average citizen is going to
>pay an additional $10,000 per year in income tax due to the poor planning
>by the government managers.
>
>3.) Wish the Republican president that follows him the best of luck in
>straightening out the mess.From: [email protected]
>Date: Sat, 25 Oct 1997 10:48:10 -0400 (EDT) To: [email protected]
>Subject: if I were supreme dictator
>
>I would announce a press release that welfare checks would be cut off
>and ask everyone to write to their representative and threaten to not elect
>them again if the problem was not solved. This would get the problem fixed
>in short order
>
>i would change the calendar so the problem would not happen
>we could just add another month to get us through the swearing in of the
>new president
>
>-----------------------------
>
>From: Norbert Fassotte
>
>I would simply shoot everyone who has a Y2K-problem.
>
>A problem is only a problem if you make it a problem. So if I shoot
>everyone who detects something and makes it a problem, I don't have a
>problem.
>-----------------------------
>
>From: mathew_hennessy
>
>...I'd remove any and all enforcement efforts towards Y2k compliance. I'd
>then buy up lots of precious metals, flee to the Bahamas, and watch gold
>prices spike above $1000/oz while the financial markets melt.
>
>Just a touch of fantasy before Halloween..
>-----------------------------
>
>From: Rob Janes
>
>If I were Dictator I would tell people to start at least 5 years ago on the
>Year 2000 problem.
>
>I used that approach and all the applications I am responsible for are in
>good shape. It's a lot of fun watching people going into panic mode now
>over the problem.
>
>-----------------------------
>
>From: harold.carruther
>
>1) Proclaim the every CEO must personally renovate and implement at least
>1,000,000 lines of COBOL code per year or be sentenced to death by being
>folded, spindled, and mutilated like a Hollerith card
>
>then
>
>2) Proclaim Bill Gates to be the official CEO for the remainder of the
>world he doesn't already control
>
>then
>
>3) Double the annual quota
>-----------------------------
>
>From: Conor Brankin
>
>If I were dictator I would announce that the year 2000 was a virtual
>concept, and that time shall revert to the year 1900, right after the year
>1999.
>
>This would give the developers another 100 years to get it sorted out.
>After all, we change an hour twice a year, why not a century one a
>millenium.
>-----------------------------
>
>That's all folks... Hope you enjoyed them...
>
>Have fun!
>Peter de Jager
>
>
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