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$1,000,000 CypherPunk Challenge
THE ESTEVAN DETACHMENT OF THE ROYAL CANADIAN MOUNTED POLICE IS
PROUD TO ANNOUNCE THE COMMENCEMENT OF THE MILLION DOLLAR
CYPHERPUNK CHALLENGE!
Thanks to the generous contributions of RCMP officers such as
Constable Beauline, who generously offered to kick in a share
of the money he extorted at gunpoint from the late TruthMonger
#1, in the CoalDust Saloon, we are able to offer each of you
a chance at the Grand Prize for aiding us in securing a
conviction on any major criminal charge against an individual
who has sullied the reputation of the Royal Canuckian Mounted
Police by subjecting us to ridicule for the mountains of
government resources and funds we have pissed away in our
unsuccessful attempts to imprison him over the years.
The sorry, scumbag piece of shit who posts to the CypherPunks
mailing list under a variety of aliases, including, Toto,
TruthMonger, Blanc Weber and Sameer, is known to be as big
a pain in the ass to you irreverent, anarchist CypherPunks
felons as he is to those of us sworn to Serve and Protect
the rich and powerful from loudmouthed troublemakers who
feel no shame in stepping outside the boundaries of our
subservient middle-class society.
CSIS, an arm of Canadian law enforcement whose manifest
is to find and exploit weaknesses of character in our
citizens, in order to encourage them down a path which will
allow the judicial system to put enough white people in jail
to keep a semblance of order amoung the Wagon-Burners who
belong in the white man's prisons by virtue of their
birthright, has provided the RCMP with illegally
intercepted InterNet communications which lead us to
believe that most of the CypherPunks are, in reality,
personally resigned to the fact that Big Brother already
has the game in the bag, and would recognize the benefit
of helping us to hammer down, once and for all, in two
quick 'chops', the 9-inch nail that rises like a Penis
from the Asses every time we attempt to slap it down.
Others may make you similar offers to make the $$$ Big
Bucks $$$, but our offer pays monumentally greater amounts
of cash than sitting at home licking your own dick...
THE CHALLENGE:
To support our efforts to encourage Toto down a path that
will lead to enough mental and emotional pressure to
overcome the beneficial effects of his current medication
and result in his increasing vulnerability to the violent
manifestations of his medical disability to the point where
he finally 'snaps,' and strikes out in a blind rage of
senseless violence that will finally allow the Canadian
Justice system to incarcerate him in a place where his
presence will not be an affront to normal, decent Canadians
who are willing to believe that Louis Riel acted alone, as
long as we allow them to continue to debate endlessly on
CBC radio on how to end the never-ending debates on CBC
radio, and finally take some action on what are essentially
inconsequential matters.
OUR PLEDGE:
To continue our efforts to pressure Toto through illegal
violations of his Charter Rights and to provide those who
choose to participate in our assault on this particular
citizen by providing information as to known vulnerabilities
which can be used to exploit his weaknesses.
YOUR *WINNING* ROLE:
To support and encourage Toto in manifesting, to the fullest
extent possible, the moral outrage that comes naturally
from a lifetime of watching growing authoritarian tyranny in
all aspects of Canadian society.
To echo and validate the impulsive outbursts of emotional and
physical violence which is endemic among those with his type
of medical disability.
THE KEYS TO SUCCESS:
While we continue to harass Toto at every step, seeking to
criminalize and socially stigmatize him for his values and
beliefs, you, as a CypherPunk, can encourage him to dwell
upon the injustices to which he is subjected, in the name of
normality.
While we continue to illegally and arrogantly confiscate his
property, denying him use of the tools he uses to improve
his knowledge of his medical condition, and to help maintain
mental and emotional balance through creative expression and
physical functionality, you, as a CypherPunk, can make a
point of reminding him that even if we are forced, at some
point, to cease our illegal harassment of him, that we have
endless government resources available that enable us to
continue harassing him as long as we desire.
While we continue to pressure Toto to submit to our attempts
to suppress his right to freedom of expression, you, as a
CypherPunk, can point out to him the debasement and oppression
that is involved in submitting to our tyranny.
The key to living life comfortably, as a Sheeple, lies in
avoiding undue reflection upon the lies and injustices that
are part of the daily menu of a government and society
geared toward the worship and furtherance of money and
power.
Defective humans who are incapable of hypnotically ignoring
the the lies, hypocrisy and injustice around them need to
be removed from society in order to ensure the efficient
functioning of the more obedient Sheeple.
BONUS:
Any CypherPunk who is able to contribute to our efforts to
the extent that enough pressure is applied to the weak points
of Toto's medical condition to result in him completely
snapping and blindly striking out at random against those
who have no part in his persecution (as opposed to merely
striking back at those who are violating his human rights)
will receive a share of any royalties that may result from
book and movie script sales.
When encouraging Toto in viewing it as his right and duty to
launch a mindless, violent assault on the world at large,
keep in mind that chainsaw massacres have the potential to
be big money makers in the news and entertainment media
industry, and senseless slaughter of innocent children
is a proven winner in maximizing audience share.
Remember: Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, make
violent revolution a damn profitable business.