Bienfait Reptilian News - SPACE ALIENS HIDE MY DRUGS!!!

[Linda Reed--PCC West Campus CSC <lreed@west.cscwc.pima.edu>]

RIP/BNN - SPACE ALIENS HIDE M DRUGS!!!
_______________________________________

Bienfait Nutly News--Desert Storm / Texas Tornado Special:
[BNN-Tucson, Arizona--THE 'FOUR CORNERS' SEARCH FOR A PAIR OF
Certified CopKillers took a bizarre twist today, when it was
learned that the Author of SPACE ALIENS HIDE M DRUGS was
apparently serving merely as a diversionary decoy for LEA's
involved in the search, while an unknown compatriot was busy
either providing clandestine supply support for the pair, or
perhaps even arranging transportation for the suspects to a
safehouse located outside of the search area.
  Under cross-examination by a variety of LEA/Spooks, the 
RCMP involved in setting up the Author on a variety of charges
under the Criminal Code Of Canada admitted that they had been
holding back evidence suggesting that the Author was not acting
alone in his TRIN VirtualNuclear Diskette Bomb Soft Target
World Tour. Newspapers dated after the Author's flight to
semi-safety south of the forty-ninth parallel were found at
the scene of the first VirtualNuclear Device discovered by
the Royal Canadian Mounted Police at the Court House eleven
KILLometers from MongerItaVille, home of the Bienfait Nutly
News, where the Author was scheduled to be railroaded into
serving a four-year sentence for 'Failure To Appear' on the
'Dog At Large' charges trumped up by local Bienfait officials
under RCMP direction.

  "There were two different sets of newspapers dated after
the Author's flight from Canada found at the scene of the
First VirtualNuclear Device." an RCMP official foolishly
revealed to the Flying Spook assigned by the US Air Force
to investigate the Author, never considering that the agent
may have been 'turned' by the Circle of Eunuchs into a
secret ally. "We traced the placement of one of the sets
of newspapers to the Author's nephew, Human Gus-Peter, who
had been promised a new state-of-the-art computer in return
for helping to obstrufucate the details behind the placement
of the TRIN VNDB Device. The second set of newpapers, from
an earlier date, were obviously placed by an unknown entity,
working in collusion with the Author from the beginning."

  The Flying Spook, in his first action as the new editor-
in-chief of the Bienfait Nutly News, informed the RCMP that
the Author, after mailing evidence of RCMP illegal activity,
collusion and conspiracy to a Time/Netly News reportwhore
from Sidney, Montana, had holed up at the Way Station in
Gillette, Montana, for a few days, proceeding south only
after meeting with a shadowy figure who had given one of
the local residents of the homeless shelter a handful of
Canadian coins when asked for spare change.
  The Flying Spook also suggested that the Author's travel
schedule, seemingly laying an interrupted trail through
the HeartLand of paramilitary activity on the way to theYT
targets along the way, was actually a diversionary tactic
designed to divert attention from the movements of his
conspiratorial compatriot--rumored to be a long-time active
member of the Circle of Eunuchs and CyphperPunks Disturbed
Male LISP, as well as a recent inductee into the Army of
Dog.

  The new Editor-In-Chief of the Bienfait Nutly News also
revealed that his investigation into the alleged connection
of the NuclearBomberAdulteress in Minot, North Dakota, and
the ButtonBomberJoyRider from Tucson, Arizona, to the
Circle of Eunuchs and Army of Dog had turned up a variety
of startling facts, despite the Flying Spook's failure to
include those facts in his official report.
  Among those facts are the following:


EveryBody Wants To Go To Soviet Heaven, But No One Wants To Spy:

  It took the Flying Spook only a few weeks to verify hard links
between the Author and a variety of single, double and triple
agents ranging from Scotland to the Middle East--from the 1800's
to the 1990's.
  The Author's background had been invesigated previously, to
little avail, and the Flying Spook was mystified as to how
apparently competent investigators could fail to realize that
the key to covert and subversive links very often lie in the
history of the women 'behind the throne', so to speak.
  Elanor Roosevelt, Lady Byrd Johnson, Nancy Reagan...even
Casper's Cousins unfamiliar with the course of history should
be able to see the implication implied by these recent examples
of the Hidden Hands Of Destiny working through the wives of
those serving as the front men for the true movers and shakers
in society.

  The Zippo lighter bearing the crest of the Naval Guided
Missle School carried by the Author had long been dismissed
as an insignificant detail by a long string of investigators
who crossed paths with HimOrHer at various times and places.
  It was the family history of Polly McWilliams that allowed
the Flying Spook to bring together a wide range of seemingly
individual 'coincidences' into a logical, coherent pattern.

  Clifden Albert Banner:
  Polly McWilliam's brother. A former B-52 bomber pilot with
connections to both the NuclearBomberAdulteress and the
ButtonBomberJoyRider provided the Flying Spook with his first
hard connection between the Author and Armed Forces personnel
suspected of having Circle of Eunuchs connections.
  Major Banner's military history working at top levels of
the Strategic Air Command, as well as with the Joint Chiefs
of Staff at the Pentagon provided the Flying Spook with an
immediate RedFlag that suggested even the remotest connectionYT
what would be found upon further investigation.
  It therefore came as no surprise to find that, after having
put in place a wide variety of possible co-conspirators within
the Armed Forces network, Major Banner retired to become a
Senior Engineering Specialist-Mission Planning System, in the
New England Operations Field Office of GDE Systems, a major
military contractor.
  Neither was it a surprise that Major Banner's specialty
was...computers.


  Jane Banner:

  Polly McWilliam's sister. Heavily involved as a programmer,
for Nortel, with highly sensitive work in an area of the
joint US/Chinese encryption program that was suspected to
have strong covert connections to the CypherPunks and the
Circle of Eunuchs.


  Earl David Banner:
  Polly McWilliam's father. A Boston Globe Journalist who 
had been privy to the most secret of secrets in a comprehensive
array of social circles ranging from the Roosevelts and the
Kennedys to Cardinal Cushing and the Lords of Lourdes.
  Earl Banner's Anglican heritage was in seeming contrast to
his Catholic connections until the Flying Spook discovered
the close connection between the Author's Catholic lineage
through the French Norris clan on his mother's side and the
Catholic lineage of the McWilliams clan to which Polly's
husband, Bob, was a vital link.


  Moyra Banner:
  Polly's McWilliam's mother. Grew up in Montreal and met
her future husband through  sources closely connected to
the Bartonian Metaphysical Society and what was later to
become the Solar Temple Cult--both of which were organizations
with close connections to the Author and David Humisky, a
shadowy figure who had stunned the Canadian Military by
engineering a quick end to a student military-game project
designed to provide information and data on the capability
of military neophytes engaging in spontaneous war games.


  Alan McKenzie:
  Polly McWilliams' great-grandfather. Driven with his family
from the Isle of Lewis, in Scotland, by the Laird, as a result
of his subversive political connections to a Welsh mining rebel
named Bennett, whose grandson, Leslie James Bennett, would rise
out of one of the 'Little Moscows' in South Wales, serving as
a bastion of the British Labour Party, to become the Chief of
the Russian Desk for the RCMP's Security Service, before beingYT
with connections to fellow Red Caspers McClean and Kim Philby.


  Terry Dee:
  A long-time friend and confidante of Bob and Polly 
McWilliams, as well as a shadowy presence in the life of
the Author's decade-long lover in Austin and Tuscon.
  The Flying Spook had originally researched his connection
to the Author as a result of Dee's work for various American
spook agencies during his travels in the Middle East, and
was stunned to discover the close links between Dee's
ancestors--the O'Days--and the Author's great-grandfather,
Clarence Day, whose progeny in Mountain Home, Idaho, once
again completed the Circle between the Author and Major Clif
Banner, as well as filling in the Author's connection to
the Naval Guided Missle School and a wide variety of
suspected Circle of Eunuchs initiates employed at sensitive
military and secret government laboratory sites around
the world.


  Merna Brown:
  The Author's first wife. A member of the Bartonian Metaphysical
Society, and whose father had proved to be a vital link in the
connection between the socialist New Democratic Party of Tommy
Douglas and the suspected Russian agent, James Leslie Bennett.
  Merna Brown had eventually turned up in Ontario in a government
position ideally suited for providing financial and personal
history support for a number of individuals drifting back and
forth between the Solar Temple, Elohim City, Waco and San Diego,
changing identities as they went.


  Dave Foreman:
  The Flying Spook found it interesting that the Author had
appeared to have absolutely no contact with Dave Foreman or
any of the Earth First subversives in Arizona during HisOrHer
time there, yet seemed to be involved in advising and training
a wide variety of those connected to Earth First in various
areas of the country, particularly in Northern California.
  Hidden deep within the mountains of files kept on those who
marched in protests at the LizardMore Lavoratory was a note
which attributed authorship of a song, "We're Going To Take
It Sitting Down," a banner tune for a Berkeley radical group
named La Palomas, to one C.J. Parker, who was also known to
have authored "Don't Blame Me, I Voted For The Monkey."


  Black Elk:
  Equally intriguing was the Author's close connection to a
wide variety of Rainbow Family members thoughout the US and
Canada. While the Author seemingly remained unaware of his
connection to the group, many of the Rainbow Family were notYT
enormous amount of covert support during his wide travels.
  ears of investigation failed to discover the link until
the Flying Spook engaged the Author in WarStories (TM) at
the CoalDust Saloon in Bienfait, and heard a tale about 
HimOrHer joining an oddball van full of misfits including
hippies, college athletes and a Catholic priest, on a trip
to a mountain top in Colorado to await the fulfillment of
the vision written of in "Black Elk Speaks."
  HeOrShe told of the Catholic priest smuggling an ounce of
hashish across the border, shoved up his butt, screwing the
Catholic girls on the trip, and then absolving them, and 
carrying a mountain of liquor up the mountain on his back,
a Herculean task which made him a legend among those at
the gathering who considered a spiritual journey to be
incomplete without a jigger of earthly spirits to ease
their passage.
  The Author told of rising in the middle of the night to
relieve himself of excess spirits and falling into one of
the slit-trench crappers that had been dug for the occassion,
swearing like a trooper as he climbed out, only to fall into
another, and yet another, with the whole gathering laughing
riotously in the dark at the Fool In The Stool, as he called
himself. He had little idea that not only did the whole
gathering know who he was the next day (even though he 
pretended ignorance of the whole affair), but that the story
of his folly had become one of the legends told by the
original members of the Rainbow Family which was born at
the gathering.


  Ken Sleight:
  Government efforts to investigate an alleged underground
railroad for a variety of outlaws, desperados and radicals,
including a trail of SafeHouses and HideOuts throughout
the western US, invariably led to one or another of passages
in and out of the Four Corners area.
  The Author and Utah outfitter Ken Slight were often found
to be operating in close proximity without ever seeming to
have confirmable direct contact. Interestingly, they both
seemed to have contact with a large number of the same
people involved in environmental and survivalist arenas,
including Bob Mason, of Durango, although under an assumed
name.


  XS4ALL:
  InterNet Free Terra both hosted the banned website during
their censorship troubles with the the German government, and
helped a variety of other sites set up mirror sites around the
same time. One of the causes of XS4ALL's troubles was the
publication of how-to tips on derailing trains.
  Although it was confirmed that the Author's travel schedule
coincided with a number of railway 'accidents', including theYT
in the vicinity of Saskatoon, no positive links to HisOrHer
involvement could be established. The Flying Spook's recent
investigation, however, turned up the fact that a variety of
those hosting mirrors of the XS4ALL website had travel 
schedules which coincided with that of the Author at the
times of several railway 'accidents', although, once again,
no positive link between the individuals could be established.



Synchronincidence:
  Time is a trick to keep suspicious minds from positively
connecting Taoist subversive criminal radicals to the events
for which they are obviously responsible.
  Space is a trick to keep Taoist subversive criminal radical
coconspirators from being positively linked together when it
is in the best interests of the government to claim that they
are acting alone.
  Paranoia is a trick to keep non-Taoist subversive criminal
radicals from realizing that most LEAs are real Lamers (TM),
and that the only thing one needs to be paranoid of is paranoia,
itself (it's a vicious cycle...).
  Guilt is a trick to keep psychotic sociopath subversive
criminal radicals from killing everyone at once, so that there
is still someone left to plot against them.


DISCLAIMER!!!
_____________

  The Bienfait Nutly News makes no pretensions of operating
as an ethical and responsible news source for individuals
whose cerebral synapse circuits remain unaffected by moon
phases and solar sunspot activity.
  We accept no responsibility for explaining how the 
translation of Reptilians In Black into an RIP acronym
can go unnoticed by the editor until the end of the piece,
or how a well-researched article can somehow seem to peter
out into a meaningless morass of inconsequential facts and
details.
  Hell, we don't even know what the right-square bracket
is *really* called...]