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Sunday, September 13, 1998 - 19:23:30 MET

Talk about unimaginable control. How many times 
did Monica provoke William Jefferson Clinton? 
Four or five, before he deigned that there should
be a denouement? And why? Because, deep in his 
heart, he knew it was just wrong!  Impeachment?  
Hardly.  Instead, Congress should award this Man,
our magnificent President, a new decoration, 
the �Presidential Blue Spheres of Steel�!  
Can one imagine any other person on Earth with 
such iron control?  Fortunately, yes! 
And who could this be?  You guessed it!  
None other than Will-O-Iron�s buddy and potential 
replacement, Ol Stiffy himself, Al.  
O blessed land.  O fortunate realm. This is one 
American who will sleep more soundly tonight, 
knowing that, whatever the provocation, there can 
be no accidental discharge of US weaponry, that 
the finger on the button is controlled by a 
Will-of-Iron.