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Reptilian Nazi $oftware




While playing Spin the Whiskey Bottle with my dog, an
entirely accidental motion caused a search engine to 
barf this up:

http://www.letr.com/swat.html

"Here's the ultimate 'SWAT' program - from intelligence 
gathering to incident command - with add on modules 
for tracking , training and performance evaluations !

...

"Complete detailed information on suspect description 
and history Information includes: 

  o Religious and cultural background 
  o political affiliations
  o psychological and medical disorders
  o likes and dislikes
  o family members
  o close relationships
  o employer and co-workers
  o motivational factors

"Designed by Sergeant Gary Rovarino
LASD SWAT Team Leader"

(is _anyone_ taking names???)

I _thought_ I also saw, but can't be sure:

"We get almost as high writing and selling this software
as our users do kicking in doors and shooting greasers in
the back!" - Trembley Nerdwater, programmer

[A Deep Gargling Source To Be Named Later reveals that when 
they get the foreign language versions of this software 
working, sales to Third World Nazi ButtFucktatorships 
should almost rival sales to police forces in U.S. and 
European Nazi ButtFucktatorships.]

Optional modules include:

  o Instant Download From Deathlist Computer

    For those slow nights when the squad is in danger
    of losing its edge. Includes Random Hit Selector,
    Semiautomatic Route Selector, and optional route
    selection by pizza and titty bar locations.

  o Family Member and Associates Deathlist Upload

    For tidying up those loose ends. New data found on
    or near the perp's body can be entered in the field.

  o Special OKC Witness List

    For units with assigned responsibility for keeping
    the lid on _that_ one! Includes on line link to
    DOJ, FBI, ATF and specially assigned judges for
    authorization of special field actions against
    witnesses who have suddenly recovered their memories,
    gotten religion, have been reading unauthorized
    radical literature such as the U.S. "Constitution."
    Remember our motto, "Loose Lips Can Always Be Stapled
    Together."

  o Waco Tutorial

    Learn from the masters! No prisoners, no survivors!
    No bad press! Includes tips on obscuring causes of 
    death by agglutinating bodies together! Confound
    medical examiners by combining pieces of perps to
    make remains that have been shot, gassed, burned,
    asphyxiated, strangled, decapitated, disemboweled,
    etc.!

  o Portable Press Dossier

    Be able to pull up the files of inquisitive reporters
    in real time! Get instant and unprecedented 
    cooperation!

Buy now and get testosterone supplements* at no additional
charge! You must provide your own adrenalin. Remember! The
rush is not on the radio -- it's going through the door!

*suppositories only

ButtFuckMonger