Re: I Got Mine

["Albert P. Franco, II" <apf2@apf2.com>]

Now there's a really intelligent response to the MIB! I think Blanc would
have done a better self-service to have responded that way.

MAKE THEM GET A WARRANT! It's your ONLY legal defense against a fishing
expedition! It's our CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT to require a warrant before
letting them in! We are NOT criminals just because we do not allow the MIBs
to make ILLEGAL and UNCONSTITUTIONAL searches of our properties!

If they can't convince a judge AND obtain a specifically worded search
warrant then they are obviously fishing! Tell to go find a real deep lake...

I also give the writer an A+ for the Clintonian and Reagonesque touches!

APF 

>
>Hello, I'm Special Agent Murfrock of the IRS and this is Special 
>Agent Prenfrew. We'd like to speak with you about C. J. Parker, 
>maybe known to you as "Toto" or "TruthMonger..."
>
>Sorry, I don't recognize any of those. Isn't Toto the dog?
>
>The dog?
>
>Yes, Dorothy's dog in... (stops when he notices that the agents are
>scribbling furiously in their notebooks)
>
>May we come in?
>
>No, I was just about to go to sleep. I'm not well.
>
>Sorry to hear that. We have an e-mail here that you sent to Toto, 
>and another he sent back to you...
>
>May I see those? (takes the printouts)
>
>Sorry, doesn't ring a bell.
>
>Well, if you look at those headers, the ones circled in red, you
>will see that...
>
>You must be kidding! There are more people forging e-mail headers
>than live in St. Louis! Everybody knows that.
>
>Would you mind if we just come in for a moment?
>
>Yes, I would. I told you, I am going to sleep.
>
>Would you mind if we look at your computer?
>
>Why would you want to do that?
>
>Well if you didn't send or receive these messages, you have 
>nothing to worry about.
>
>I don't see any reason to do that.
>
>We can get a warrant, very quickly, as a matter of fact. If you
>cooperate, things will go better for you.
>
>I love to cooperate. I want to cooperate. I am cooperating to the
>fullest extent I believe is required of me. Ask me something that
>makes sense and I'll answer it.

We have learned sooo much from our wonderful President Clinton, haven't we?!

>
>Have you ever heard of a group called the Cypherpunks?
>
>It rings a bell.
>
>Are you a member?
>
>No.
>
>How do you explain the fact that we found your e-mail address on
>a Cypherpunks membership list in a computer we seized?
>
>I have no idea. I don't join organizations.
>
>Are you a member of the Majordomo organization?
>
>No. The only majordomo I've ever heard of is a mail list manager.
>
>Where have you seen this Majordomo?
>
>Oh, everywhere. I think it's worldwide in scope.
>
>(scribble scribble)
>
>It's some kind of utility program. Everybody uses it.
>
>(scribbling stops)
>What can you tell us about it?
>
>Nothing, really. If you want to get on a mail list you send a
>"subscribe" message to a majordomo. If you want to get off, I
>think you send an "unscrive" message.
>
>Have you ever done that?
>
>Maybe. I don't recall. Anyone can submit your e-mail address 
>to lists, so you don't even have to subscribe to be on an 
>e-mail list. And there's so much spam these days that I don't 
>recognize half the stuff I get. 
>
>Spam? (the agents look at each other)
>
>Junk e-mail. I delete most of my e-mail without even reading it.
>Sometimes my email program crashes and it all gets deleted before
>I can look at it.
>
>(scribble scribble)
>How many lists have you joined?
>
>I don't remember. I never paid any attention to those things,
>and since I banged my head three months ago, I haven't been
>remembering a lot of things.
>
>(scribble scribble)
>So, are you denying being a member of the Cypherpunks?
>
>I don't know what that means.
>
>Have you ever subscribed to the Cypherpunks e-mail list?
>
>I have no idea.
>
>You have no idea? You don't remember?
>
>I don't know what I've subscribed to, unsubscribed from,
>what I get, don't get. E-mail is a complete mess and I
>ignore most of it. I'm really not very good at those
>things.
>
>May we look?
>
>No.
>
>Are you going to make us get a warrant?
>
>Get what you like. My disk crashed last week and I threw it away.
>Lost everything. In fact I just formatted my new disk and the 
>only data on it is manuscripts for the columns I write.
>
>Columns?
>
>I write for a magazine and a couple of newspapers.
>
>(oh shit)
>(scribble scribble)
>Oh yeah? Which ones?
>
>I don't think that's appropriate.
>
>Well, we'll be back. Here's my card in case you think of anything
>you'd like to tell us.
>
>Sure.
>
>One more thing. Have you ever been invited to join something
>called The Circle of Eunuchs, e-u-n-u-c-h-s?
>
>I don't recall ever hearing of anything like that.
>
>Do you know who Tim May is?
>
>Nope. Sounds like a real common name, though.
>
>How about Blanc?
>
>Is that French?
>
>Never mind. Thanks. We'll be seeing you.
>
>(I don't _think_ so)
>
>-----
>
>AmnesiaMonger
>