Laptops, TEMPEST, chewing gum, and baling wire

["Timothy C. May" <tcmay@got.net>]

At 11:52 AM -0800 12/5/96, Alan Olsen wrote:

>Now the truly paranoia will not only cover their heads with tinfoil, they
>will cover their laptops as well.

Just be careful to remove the tinfoil prior to leaving the country. As you
know, tinfoil is an ITAR-controlled item.

(Pending the outcome of a court case, where a physics professor is
challenging the ITARs on the grounds that using aluminum or tin foil in his
physics lectures may subject him to imprisonment. That rolls of aluminum
foil are commonly available in supermarkets throughout the country--and
even at foreign sites!--does not mean the ITARs will not be enforced.)

The traditional "personal use exemption," such as for the tin foil
contained in chewing gum wrappers, is causing alarm in the Administration,
as NSA researchers have discovered that some users are gluing together many
gum wrappers to make RF shields. "We have notified Wrigley's Gum Company
that their wrappers may constitute illegal "hooks" and may violate the
ITARs even if any single wrapper is too small to be useful."

The Administration is working with industry to relax export controls on
tinfoil and other shielding substances. H-P and Intel have announced a
solution the Administration may find acceptable: exports of shielded
laptops would be allowed if special keystroke capture programs are
installed.

As Special Crytography Envoy David Aaron puts it, "This is for the
protection of the consumer, not for use by the government."

(When pressed to explain this, Ambassador Aaron admitted it made no sense
to him either, but that he was just following orders. He also acknowledged
that the Administration's policy appears to be held together by baling wire
and chewing gum, so the Administration has a special interest in the
wrapper issue.)

--Klaus! von Future Prime



--
[This Bible excerpt awaiting review under the U.S. Communications Decency
Act of 1996]
And then Lot said, "I have some mighty fine young virgin daughters. Why
don't you boys just come on in and fuck them right here in my house - I'll
just watch!"....Later, up in the mountains, the younger daughter said:
"Dad's getting old. I say we should fuck him before he's too old to fuck."
So the two daughters got him drunk and screwed him all that night. Sure
enough, Dad got them pregnant, and had an incestuous bastard son....Onan
really hated the idea of doing his brother's wife and getting her pregnant
while his brother got all the credit, so he pulled out before he
came....Remember, it's not a good idea to have sex with your sister, your
brother, your parents, your pet dog, or the farm animals, unless of course
God tells you to. [excerpts from the Old Testament, Modern Vernacular
Translation, TCM, 1996]