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[Noise] From The Onion




SATAN TO REVISE BAR CODE SYSTEM 

NEW YORK--Responding to retailers' calls to "streamline the Mark of
the Beast," Satan announced plans Monday to make significant changes
in the UPC symbol by the end of the millenium.  "All men, small and
great, rich and poor, slave and free, shall bear the mark of the
beast," Satan said. The mark, "666," now hidden in every UPC symbol,
may be more effective if taken off products and burned directly onto
consumers' foreheads or hands, according to The Father of Lies. Said
National Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan: "As foretold in the
Book of Revelations, it shall come to pass that no man shall be able
to buy or sell without the Mark of the Beast." The new bar code system
will be introduced through a series of televised public-service
announcements featuring Friends star Matthew Perry and Satan, who will
appear as a beast with seven heads and ten horns.

http://www.theonion.com/onion3102/index3102.html


-- 
"It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once."
					               -Hume