Um, I'm probably already in trouble for the last one.

[Rick Osborne <osborne@gateway.grumman.com>]

Forwarded from 0xdeadbeef  (inline tabs converted):
-----
Michael Strelitz <mstrelitz@cix.compulink.co.uk> wrote:
>
>> But not every bra has a cryptographic function. Most are used for ASCII 
>> armor or for compression. Some are even designed to make the plaintext
>> stand out and more enjoyable to read.
>
> Touche, but I believe what we have here is a clear case of steganography.

  Yikes.  I think that we should hammer down some definitions before
  this whole thing gets out of hand.

Cryptography:
  Building an difficult-to-unhook bra.

Steganography:
  Building a flesh-colored bra, or one whose unhook mechanism is
  hidden somewhere unexpected (Man:  "How the Hell...?"  Woman:
  "It unhooks in front."  Man:  "Damn those steganographers.")

Public-Key Cryptography:
  Building a bra that anyone can put on, but that only Alice can
  remove.

Watermarking:
  Building a bra that stays on even after smoothing, compression,
  and rotation.  Also, Bob should not be able to put his own bra
  on over Alice's and claim ownership of her body.

Fingerprinting:
  Um, I'm probably already in trouble for the last one, so I'll
  just skip this.

Signatures:
  Building a bra with a nametag ("Property of Alice, machine wash
  warm...") such that bras with Alice's name only fit Alice's body.
  Bob could in theory remove Alice's bra and replace it with his 
  own, but there's no real reason for him to do so.

All-or-Nothing Disclosure Of Secrets:
  Alice transforms her bra into a duffle bag, and either (a) shows
  Bob how to open it, or (b) shows Bob how she made it into a duffle
  bag.  Alice repeats the procedure until Bob is satisfied (perverted
  freak).

One-time Pad:
	Kleenex.

NSA:	An organization that wants women to go back to wearing corsets and
	chastity belts.  Oh, and Bill Clinton gets to keep all the keys.

[looks up at what's written so far and sighs]  I'm so damned juvenile.
I'm going to go do something more constructive and serious.  Well, happy
Monday.

				-Caj

	[**!!Oh, and these are not the views of my employer!!**]
_________ o s b o r n e @ g a t e w a y . g r u m m a n . c o m _________
Haha.. you fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most
famous is: Never get involved in a land war in Asia. Only slightly less
well know is this: Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the
line!