[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]
Not worried? You will be... (fwd from Yucks)
----- Forwarded message from Nev Dull -----
>From [email protected] Tue Sep 23 02:39:35 1997
Date: Mon, 25 Aug 1997 14:05:02 -0400 (EDT)
From: Nev Dull <[email protected]>
Subject: Not worried? You will be...
To: [email protected] (/dev/null)
Not worried about companies collecting information about your
purchasing habits? You will be...
Dear Mr. Jones:
Our research indicates that you have not bought condoms at SpiffyMart
recently. (Your last purchase was 8 weeks ago.) Further, you have
stopped buying feminine hygiene products, but have sharply increased
your frozen pizza and dinners usage in the same time frame.
It's clear that Ms. Jody Sanders and you are no longer "an item". (It's
probably for the best -- she consistently buys inexpensive shampoo, and
it was obvious that the two of you were not economically compatible.)
The Postal Service database confirms that she filed a change of address
We at Hotflicks International offer our condolences. As the number-one
vender of hot XXX-rated videos, we want you to know that our products can
help you through this difficult period. When you're feeling lonely, check
out our unmatched catalog, there is guaranteed to be something that you'll
want to purchase!
Order from this catalog and we'll throw in an extra tape FREE!
Pat Aureilly, Hotflicks Marketing Manager
ps: That "blond" at O'Dougles last Saturday for whom you bought a
Strawberry Marguerita? Forget it! Her HMO database confirms
that she's had three yeast infections this year and was tested
for a sexually transmitted disease. Our tapes are much safer!
----- End of forwarded message from Nev Dull -----
"It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once."