Copyright 1997 Pearl Publishing
Alexis and Jonathan were resting in each other's arms on the couch by the old oak table, and quietly discussing the wide variety of posts to the CypherPunks mailing lists in the wake of the House Commerce Committee's defeat of the Oxley amendment to the SAFE bill and their approval of the Markey-White amendment, instead.
"It seems strange that the our future destiny is so deeply
intertwined with events that happened over a century ago."
"It seems even stranger," she continued, "that our past is being transmogrified through the InformEnergy we are exchanging with that era through the Trei Transponder."
"Not to mention the present " Jonathan added, showing her the post he had just pulled up on the GraphiScreen behind them.
Subject: FWD: Dear Representative Oxley
From: Anthony Garcia <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
For what it's worth. -Anthony
Date: Wed, 24 Sep 1997 17:47:37 -0500 (CDT)
From: Anthony Garcia <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: Dear Representative Oxley
At this time, it looks like your ignorant, anti-Constitutional
amendment to the Safety And Freedom through Encryption Act will be
passed by the Commerce Committee. This legislation may go on to
be passed by Congress and signed into law by the President.
In case this occurs, I would like you to make note of my home
address and telephone number. They are:
[address & phone elided for broadcast on cypherpunks list]
If I move to a new address in the future, I will update you.
I telling you this because I fully intend to willfully break
your stupid law exactly 1 minute after the moment it goes into
effect on January 1st, 1999.
- Manufacture an encryption product that does not support key
escrow (I will compile source code for encryption software
which does not support key escrow.)
- Offer to sell that encryption product to any takers for
the sum of $1.
- Offer that encryption product for free to the public via FTP or HTTP
file transfer over the Internet.
- Import an encryption software product which does not support
key escrow by means of file transfer over the Internet from
a foreign source.
So, get ready to arrest me, Big Mike. Get out your old FBI
shine it up, because I AM GOING TO BREAK YOUR LAW. GOT IT?
P.S. When you have some free time, look up a document known
"Bill of Rights", and review the sections titled "First Amendment" and
Alexis gazed at the post with interest, but seemed mystified as to what import it had for the Magic Circle's present situation.
"I don't remember seeing this post in the archives we went over yesterday, but it certainly doesn't to seem unusual for the CypherPunks list."
"It wasn't in the mailing list archives yesterday."
Jonathan told her, waiting for the import of what he was saying
to begin sinking in, as evidenced by Alexis's ever-widening eyes,
"All of the posts that were in the archive yesterday are either nonexistent, or changed, when compared to emails we're pulling from A Player To Be Named Later's digital implant through the Trei Transponder."
Bubba and Priscilla walked up, hand in hand, joining in the conversation.
"If you check the archives you will find," Bubba said solemnly, "that the Oxley amendment to the SAFE bill passed on September 14, 1997."
After taking a sharp elbow to the ribs, Bubba added, grinning, "We have Priscilla to thank for pointing out this most interesting anomaly in the fabric of history, as we seem to currently be experiencing it."
"Bubba told me I was confused." Priscilla said,
gloating at her correcting of the Magic Circle's most prestigious
purveyor of ancient history.
"He said that I must have read in the CypherPunks list archives about the Oxley amendment being passed at a later date, since it had been one of the turning points in history in the battle for control of the InterNet. I told the old fart," Priscilla said, as Bubba now nudged her in the ribs, "to 'check the archives.'"
Jonathan and Alexis laughed at her imitation of Tim May, circa. 1990's.
"Nuke DC!" the Cowboy approached, waving
a handful of freshly printed posts from their current subscription
to the CypherPunks mailing list of a century earlier.
The Cowboy had resurrected some old printers that Melissa had smuggled out to him from the closely guarded Museum of Antiquities. d'Shauneaux had brought them back from one of his midnight meetings with her the previous week.
Subject: Re: SAFE = Security and Fascism through Escrow
Date: Thu, 25 Sep 1997 10:00:06 -0400 (EDT)
From: Ray Arachelian <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
On Wed, 24 Sep 1997, Tim May wrote:
> As our Big Brothers in D.C. continue to abuse the language by taking SAFE
> in a direction 180 degrees from the original intentions, it seems only fair
> that we rename the bill the Security and Fascism through Escrow Bill.
Erm, Tim you've somehow managed to misspell SODOMY. There's no
SAFE, by definition, it's a security hole through which the citizens get
.+.^.+. | Ray Arachelian |Prying open my 3rd eye. So good to see |./|\.
..\|/.. |[email protected] |you once again. I thought you were |/\|/\
<--*--> | ------------------ |hiding, and you thought that I had run |\/|\/
../|\.. | "A toast to Odin, |away chasing the tail of dogma. I opened|.\|/.
.+.v.+ .|God of screwdrivers" |my eye and there we were.... |.....
======================= http://www.sundernet.com ==========================
The Cowboy announced, grandly, "There is no record in the archives which shows any indication that the SAFE bill became generally known on the CypherPunks list as the 'Sodomy And Fascism through Encryption' bill, as now seem to be happening."
The Cowboy showed the group a color printout of the new SAFE T-shirt
being produced by Adam Back, with a Swastika and the word 'SAFE'
composed of a series of toilet plungers.
"Bill Stewart suggested to Adam that it be a 'scratch and sniff' T-shirt, but Back pointed out to him that SAFE was already beginning to smell bad to an increasing number of people, anyway."
The small group shared a chuckle or two, as the Cowboy continued.
"In addition to the challenge issued to Oxley by Anthony Garcia, and the posts by May and Arachelian, which didn't exist in our recent previous past if that makes sense I have found that even the posts that do exist in the archives are not the same as the ones we are currently receiving from that same point in time.
"There has been a subtle quantum shift in the tone and direction of the posts to the CypherPunks list, as well as to the rest of the history surrounding the InterNet during that crucial nadir point in the InterNet's evolution."
The Cowboy pulled out a bottle of Jim Beam and passed it around the table an indication that he was about to drop a bombshell on his compatriots. After everyone had downed a stiff shot of the ice-cold bourbon, he asked, "What did we all agree were two serious errors in Chapter 20 of 'InfoWar.'" he asked the others.
Alexis was the first to speak.
"Well, in general, we agreed that it was a ridiculously overdone parody of a conspiracy theory worthy of ? the Lunatic's deranged mind."
"In specific," Jonathan added, as the group laughed,
once again, "attributing the chapter as being written
by Bill Gates, wherein the man purportedly connects himself to
one of the sleaziest maneuvers in the history of the perversion
of democracy and justice, then proceeding to make it look as if
he had cowardly submitted to blackmail by the anonymous post that
linked him to the original Indio gathering of weapons dealers,
as well as the thinly veiled threat of violence to 'a billionaire
to be named later.'
"Not even the most unbalanced of the CypherPunks list members was likely to fail to see this as a shallow attempt at smearing Gates by making it look as if he had taken up the challenge that ? the Lunatic had sent anonymously through the TruthMailer as A. Fiend, to write his own chapter of 'InfoWar,' revealing some dark secret from his past, and asking him to provide some real, but improbable evidence of his authorship by making reference to some future event, based on his own inside information."
The group nodded in agreement with this statement by Jonathan, and then Alexis brought up the second major inanity the group had found in the 'InfoWar' chapter titled, 'A Billionaire To Be Named Later.'
"We agreed that it was a pretty wild stretch to intimate
that an LMBoyd sampler sent out two months before was a veiled
message from the Circle of Eunuchs to the Internet Content Coalition
warning them of a serial killer/mass murderer from the north,
where ? the Lunatic and polar bears live.
"Although the timing of the mentioned email was rather synchronous with the Coalition's agenda..."
The Cowboy broke into a wide smile, asking the others, "Did
anyone happen to read the LMBoyd sampler for July 25, 1997?"
The others looked at one another questioningly, each nodding negatively.
The Cowboy lay a post in front of the group, which they proceeded to read with amazement.
Subject: Sampler: September 25
Date: Thu, 25 Sep 1997 00:15:01 -0700
From: [email protected]
To: multiple recipients of <[email protected]>
Tennis players might quote Shakespeare's Henry VI: "O
monstrous fault!" Basketball players, Henry V: "Hear the
shrill whistle." Bowlers, The Tempest: "Mercy on us, we
split." Golfers, King John: "Give me an iron." Baseball
players, Othello: "You did bid me steal." Hockey players,
A Midsummer Night's Dream: "Gentle Puck, come hither."
Great horned owls lay round eggs.
"This was sent out after chapter 20 of 'InfoWar'
had been sent to the CypherPunks list." Bubba commented.
After checking the date and time that chapter 20 had been sent, he said, sounding even more perplexed and amazed, "A little more than a single hour afterward."
The Cowboy let each of them read the post, once again, to confirm for themselves what secrets it revealed.
"Fucking unbelievable!" Jonathan exclaimed.
"The 'A Billionaire To Be Named Later' chapter is not only followed shortly thereafter by a completely unrelated item which contains not only a confirmation of the claim of Circle of Eunuchs involvement in the LMBoyd web site, but even expands on it, by adding the reference to hockey players, such as the Author, as well as a repetition of the theme wherein polar bears hunt and consume humans."
"And adding a reference to 'horned owls' dropping 'round
eggs'?" Alexis noted, looking at the others for confirmation
she wasn't imagining things.
Bubba Rom Dos, poet and philosopher, also pointed out that the
LMBoyd sampler began with a reference to Shakespeare, and that
the last quote attributed to A Player To Be Named Later in the
chapter attributed to Gates was a reference to Shakespeare being
a member of the Magic Circle-a distinct impossibility.
"Thus, the author of chapter 20 could only have been using that analogy to set up the confirmation by the later LMBoyd sampler that the Circle of Eunuchs was involved in the use of the samplers to pass messages.
Jonathan asked the question that everyone was now rolling over
in their mind.
"What does this do to our other conclusion, that the chapter was not authored by 'Bad BillyG,' himself?"
The Cowboy sat down and knocked back another shot of Jim Beam, as the Trei Transponder began to quietly hum in the background. It was causing something tucked away in the back of the Cowboy's mind to begin resonating, and he struggled to bring it to the forefront of his consciousness where it could be examined in the light of reason
"A Player To Be Named Later had no connection to the LMBoyd web site." the Cowboy stated emphatically, surprising the others, who were lost in their own contemplation.
The Cowboy looked at each of the others, in turn, and announced, "But Gates did!"
A Player To Be Named Later lay on his bed, Baby lying by his side
and looking up quizzically at him, wondering about the soft humming
noise coming from her friend's head. He reached down and stroked
her on the back of the neck, saying,
"Modern technology, Baby. Someday I'll get you a digital implant, too, so that you can bark at the doggies of the future."
He laughed and rose to get Baby a bowl of milk.
BillyG had done his homework, that much was certain. And the man had added some personal touches to chapter 20 of 'InfoWar' that would have done justice to even the most diabolically astute members of the legendarily insane conspiracy of the slippery, esoteric--and definitely mythical--Circle of Eunuchs.
He had immediately noticed BillyG's reference to the Shakespeare line from the first sentence of the last chapter of "The Xenix Chainsaw Massacre." Having the quote, "And one man, in his time, plays many parts." spoken by A Player To Be Named Later was an obvious implication that he and the Author were one and the same person. Keeping the 'true identity' of the Author 'in play,' as Bubba called it, was a Circle of Eunuchs tradition.
As well, the last chapter of TXCSM, titled 'it ain't over 'till
it's over,' contained a reference to the "He who shits on
the Road will meet flies on his return." quote, which was
a usual part of the TruthMailer header, but was not included
in the TruthMailer email which had originally challenged BillyG
to write a chapter for 'InfoWar.'
That TXCSM chapter also made reference to Pearl Harbor Computers motto, "We've been bombed since 1941.", which meant that the Magic Circle had been brought full circle to closure by the veiled reference to the nuclear bomb in the follow-up LMBoyd sampler which served to confirm the details of the chapter 20 reference to a previous LMBoyd sampler.
"And the ending of the second sampler," he told Baby, who was listening intently, "with a direct reference to the polar bears mentioned in the one from two months before a fucking classic in-your-face Circle of Eunuchs maneuver that says everything and proves nothing!"
The timing of the confirmation post was likewise a classic maneuver.
Anyone who went to the trouble of checking the timing of chapter
20 and the following LMBoyd sampler could easily miscalculate
different time zones involved and come to the conclusion that
it was a clever ruse, but those who were familiar with headers
and time zone references in InterNet processing would know beyond
doubt that chapter 20 had been submitted to the list previous
to the release of the LMBoyd sampler.
The Coupe de Gras, of course, was that chapter 21 of 'InfoWar,'
which was titled 'Lying Fucking Nazi Cunt Sex Criminal,' and which
had its authorship attributed to the President, quoted another
email which had been posted to the CypherPunks list before the
House Commerce Committee's meeting on the Oxley amendment to SAFE,
as well as sent to over a hundred Congressmen and Senators, and
which alluded to an argument that would be raised during the closed
meeting-a fact which would be later confirmed by those in attendance.
The chapter itself intimated that this precognition of a later event might be attributable to guessing the probable from previously available information, even if it was a bold long-shot, but anyone who understood the full import of the reference to the 'Forever Young' Eternity Server and the demise of the Huge Cajones remailer would know beyond doubt that the author of chapter 21 had access to information that came from deep within the walls of the Whitehouse.
The ending of chapter 21 with the reference to the coming assault on Intel might be viewed as information that could have leaked out before chapter 21 was written, but anyone who reread the passage a month or so in the future would see the reality of what was being implied in the description of the true agenda of 'total information control' being pursued by the dark powers within the Whitehouse and the government intelligence agencies pulling the President's strings.
"Two perfect chapters, Baby." A Player To Be Named Later knocked back a shot of Scotch and rolled himself a cigarette.
"Anybody who checks the true facts involved in their creation
and distribution will prove to themselves, beyond all doubt, that
their authorship and their wild-eyed claims are exactly what the
manuscript purports them to be."
He laughed and threw Baby a chocolate chip cookie in appreciation of her rapt attention to his maniacal monologue, and gave her a conspiratorial wink.
"Yet," he continued, "just let them try to tell someone else of their discovery they will find them self running from the men with the butterfly nets, in short order."
"But," A Player To Be Named Later continued, laughing diabolically, "they ain't seen nothing, yet!"