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Re: The AOL Chronicles




I hate to break it to you but, while most are pretty damn clueless,
there were some in that list that show that either you should go find a
clue (because the thought expressed went right over your head) or you
are placing all things which you disagree with in the clueless category.

PHM

Anonymous wrote:
> 
> Every time one of these AOL wars start, the AOLers claim that there are a
> few intelligent people on AOL and that our shunning of them based on
> statistics is unjustified. We all know what the statistics are, but I
> don't think anybody has done this for Cypherpunks yet. It has been done
> other places. This isn't scientific with margins of error and everything,
> but it's good enough to illustrate the point.
> 
> I went through every posting originating from AOL which was sent to
> Cypherpunks between July and September 16th, which is today. I classified
> postings as either "clueful" or "clueless," with the latter determined by
> relevance to the list, literacy, quoting, and whether it makes any sense
> at all. Anything completely stupid is also classed as "clueless."
> "Clueful" is anything which is even remotely relevant to the list, and
> includes quoted material if a followup.
> 
> In addition, if an AOL user sends something clueless to the list then gets
> flamed, that posting and any subsequent postings in that thread by the
> original author are counted as clueless unless it's an apology, at which
> point it isn't counted at all. The flames of said user are counted as
> defense, not as clueless. Also, if I looked at the message but couldn't
> tell what the hell the author was talking about because he didn't bother
> to quote, I classed the posting as clueless.
> 
> A "*" denotes that the portion I quote is the entire message. A "+"
> denotes that there was either no quoted material in the message or that it
> used the "<<>>" style. Keep in mind that messages which are original would
> not have quoted material, but still have a "+". A "H" means that it
> contained HTML. I removed all new lines from the quotes to make them more
> compact. If the posting was large, I quoted only some parts.
> 
> Clueless posts from AOL:
> 
> 1) "At least they have TCP/IP protocols now with Win 95 ex: Hiroshima
>    45, Tsjernobyl 86, Windows 95 (Please, correct my spelling if I
>    misspelled Tsjernobyl)" -- [email protected] (Porker), 18 Aug 1998, (+)
> 
> 2) "Ibelive by spooks he ment goverment agents not a racial slur so lay
>    off." -- [email protected], 31 Aug 1998, (+*)
> 
> 3) "judy -- how about let's go shopping first and then watch the show
>    remotely together????" -- [email protected], 16 Jul 1998, (+)
> 
> 4) "please i need some suggestions with topics for my informative speech,
>    or may some infromative speeches already outlined to use it for
>    refrence. thankyou." -- [email protected], 17 Jul 1998, (*+)
> 
> 5) "d" -- [email protected], 18 Jul 1998, (*+)
> 
> 6) "send me the book (e/mail me back" -- [email protected], 19 Jul 1998,
>    (+*)
> 
> 7) "Hello: My name is Enisa, I'm 13 years old. I write an online e-zine
>    that for teens. We have over 150+ members. We just started a few days
>    ago. We are looking for sponsors to sponsor our contests. These are
>    some of the things we are able to do for you..." -- [email protected],
>    20 Jul 1998, (+H)
> 
> 8) "you got it?" -- [email protected], 20 Jul 1998, (+*)
> 
> 9) "would love to see info re; international credit cards." --
>    [email protected], 21 Jul 1998, (+*)
> 
> 10) "i would be very delighted if u gave me a free download for 5.0
>     realplayer.if u would send it to [email protected] and
>     [email protected] we will be very honored to receive them. thankx and
>     goodbye" -- [email protected], 22 Jul 1998, (+*)
> 
> 11) [A bunch of asterisks and screaming] "I was recently informed from
>     sorces who choose to remain annomous about a viri that uses macafe's
>     update tool to detect when it is found then it modifys its code and
>     forms a new strain of the virus this pattern continues although it has
>     only been tested through a clone of macafees server to 100 mutations
>     it looks like it could be a big problem I will inform you of any more
>     information i learn about it but for now    "THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE""
>     -- [email protected], 22 Jul 1998, (+*)
> 
> 12) "WHY CANT I FIND ANY WHITE AMERICAN YOUTH ALBUMS ANYWHERE?" --
>     [email protected], 23 Jul 1998, (+*)
> 
> 13) [Subject: Pipe bombs r better] "they rule!" -- [email protected], 23
>     Jul 1998, (+*)
> 
> 14) "Actually, AOL, along with being an acceptable ISP with built in
>     authentication of sender, has an easily used Mail interface.  (Even if
>     it doesn't exactly follow the standards.)" -- [email protected], 24
>     Jul 1998, (+*), in response to #12.
> 
> 15) "HELLO, IS THERE ANY WAY TO GET MY HANDS ON S BOOK THAT SHOWS THE REAL
>     BASEBALL PEOPLE AUTOGRAPHS AND THE FAKES SO I KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR???
>     PLEASE REPLY" -- [email protected], 25 Jul 1998, (+*)
> 
> 16) "I am trying to find my brother, "Allen Thomas Taylor" I am not sure
>     what year he was born but I think it was l922, l923.  We have the same
>     Father[...]" -- [email protected] (Christine Ernest), 26 Jul 1998,
>    (+)
> 
> 17) "Hey:  Who made up the term "Politically Correct"?  Not Christians and
>     not Republicans. Your side did.  How does wanting a smaller
>    government, less taxes, the freedom to CHOOSE to pray in schools, the
>    rights of the un-born( of[...] CHOKE ON IT YOU HYPOCRITE" --
>    [email protected], 27 Jul 1998, (+)
> 
> 18) "do you have music vinyl stickers , if so , could i get them
>     wholesale?" -- [email protected], 29 Jul 1998, (+*)
> 
> 19) "I'm looking for Lynrd Skynrds Freebird  on a window sticker for my
>     car.  Do you know where I can find one?" -- [email protected], 28 Jul
>    1998, (+*)
> 
> 20) "More!" -- [email protected], 29 Jul 1998, (+*)
> 
> 21) "Can you do a 5 color process?  4x4".  Price on 500,1000,1500" --
>     [email protected], 4 Aug 1998, (+*)
> 
> 22) [Subject: whut up] "looking for a place to have some Band stickers
>     made, can you email me a phone number so we can check out some
>     prices.....thanks TIm" -- [email protected], 6 Aug 1998, (+*)
> 
> 23) "Could you please send me the Anarchy Cookbook.....I really want it
>     and I cant find it anywhere! Thanx for your help.. Mike Jonhson" --
>     [email protected], 9 Aug 1998, (+*)
> 
> 24) [Subject: .] "" (Yes, nothing.) -- [email protected], 9 Aug 1998, (+*)
> 
> 25) "Come on thake it easy on the guy at least he aint on AOL or somthing
>     stuped." -- [email protected], 13 Aug 1998, ()
> 
> 26) [Subject: Subject: LOL. Made me look] "" (Yes, nothing.) --
>     [email protected], 14 Aug 1998, (+*)
> 
> 27) "about: Hello, I am trying to start a VB 32 bit code bank you can send
>     any code you want to exept codes for aol addons...  . 1nce a week most
>     likely on fridays I will check the hotmail account specifyed below and
>     I will take all the codes and put them in a txt file and send it to
>     everyone who sent a code in since I am [...] To send Codes for the ML
>     Send E-mail to [email protected] In the sbject field write
>     anonymous / Code topic if you don't want your E-Mail address to show
>     up when I send the Codes out or else just type the topic of the code
>     you are sending.. ." -- [email protected], 14 Aug 1998, (+)
> 
> 28) "Because the American Justice system is screwed up royally... for
>    instance - Kevin Mitnick... www.KevinMitnick.com" -- [email protected],
>    17 Aug 1998, (+*)
> 
> 29) "I am interested in travel between Knoxville, Tennessee  and Des
>     Moines, Iowa. I would also be interested in Nashville, Tennessee and
>     Des Moines, Iowa or Atlanta and Des Moines, Iowa.  Please notify me of
>     specials in these markets. Thanks, Linda Tisue [email protected]" --
>     [email protected], 18 Aug 1998, (+*)
> 
> 30) "I am looking to distribute a product and I was wondering if you can
>     tell me how to get mass e mail addresses. I look forward to hearing
>     from you." -- [email protected], 19 Aug 1998, (+*)
> 
> 31) "Send me info on how to make a pipe bomb. HoppyF1315" --
>     [email protected] (Hoppy Head), 19 Aug 1998, (+*)
> 
> 32) "I take that statement as an insult, and it really isn't true about
>     all of us AOL users. [...] Actually, some of us know what real hacking
>     is...[...] Anyway, try not to stereotype people so much, because, with
>     the Advent of 32 bit AOL, we can actually use all of the TCP/IP
>     protocols, etc..." -- [email protected], 20 Aug 1998, (+)
> 
> 33) [Subject: anarchy cookbook] "Is any one home?" -- [email protected], 21
>     Aug 1998, (+*)
> 
> 34) "I did not say anywhere that 32 bit would fix problems of cluelessness
>     - or ignorance in your case.  I said, it is a little better because we
>    can now use TCP/IP protocols.  Did I ever say that the people on AOL
>    were smarter because of it?  Well, let's go read over that post - - -
>    nope... I didn't.  I think some people should read a little more
>    carefully, or just don't read at all." -- [email protected], 22 Aug 1998,
>    (+*) (As I recall, this one was in response to a set of flames which
>    cited his assertion in #32.)
> 
> 35) [Subject: can you help me make virses please tell me who to make one
>     step by step] "I need help i want to know how to make a virses in
>     c\c++ please help me." -- [email protected], 21 Aug 1998, (+*)
> 
> 36) "Tell me how to get tons of free stuff!  Thank You ." --
>     [email protected], 21 Aug 1998, (+*)
> 
> 37) "Here we go again" -- [email protected], 22 Aug 1998, (+*)
> 
> 38) [Subject: tell me] "hola and good tidings send some info on spooks
>     please i will be grateful" -- [email protected], 29 Aug 1998, (+*)
> 
> 39) [Subject: h] "how did u do it" -- [email protected], 7 Sep 1998, (+*)
> 
> 40) " HaCkaZ OnlY Da EliTeHelLO YaLL DiS is Da MaDD AAOOLL HaCka Ima
>     startin a GreWp fOR HaCs Only So In OthA WerDS yA gOttA KnOw The WAreZ
>     anD HoW toO UsEr FaTe AnD AOL So MaIl Or Im Me FoR Da TeTaIls If YeR
>     LeeTo K Pe@CE FrOmE The LeeTs HacKJeFFrO)" -- [email protected], 9 Sep
>     1998, (+*)
> 
> 41) Message quoting the above, which wasn't originally sent to the list,
>     in "<< >>" style, adding only: "What the hell is this? No wonder why
>     AOLers have a bad name Im going to Flame this guy" -- [email protected],
>     10 Sep 1998, (+*)
> 
> 42) "Preach on brother =)" -- [email protected], 15 Sep 1998, (+*), copied to
>     25 other recipients, plus the list.
> 
> 43) "I read that book" -- [email protected], 15 Sep 1998, (+*)
> 
> 44) "All Creatures Great and Small - that one... =) I also read an Aasimov
>     a while back in fifth grade - unfortunately, I can't remember even the
>     name... I need to pick some of his books up again... One book I can
>     remember reading since 5th grade (and every summer thereafter) is "IT"
>     by Stephen King - one of his few really good books.  I have read it 8
>     times since. I greatly recommend it =)" -- [email protected], 15 Sep 1998,
>     (+*)
> 
> 45) "We are sending you an invitation to be one of our special guests this
>     year, big harry ass lawsuits are always of interest.  Bring a friend
>     if you like, but I have to warn you, Liberatarians are not welcome.
>     This years menu includes red meat and poptarts.  Clothing is optional.
>     Sincerely, Beth" -- [email protected], 17 Jul 1998, (+*)
> 
> 46) "That's why I suggest listening to I Robot by Alan Parson's Project."
>     -- [email protected], 18 Jul 1998, (+*)
> 
> 47) "If sombody offers you some FedGov, just say NO!" --
>     [email protected], 23 Jul 1998, (), copied to 32 recipients, including
>     the list.
> 
> Note the "+" ratings on the below. (Semi-)Clueful postings from AOL:
> 
> 1) "It's the easy way out (and I mean DOWN and OUT)!  I mean, if we're
>    simply going to change them out everytime, why bother to figure out
>    which ones a going to change them out everytime, why bother to figure
>    out which ones aren't evil/stupid (I mean, out of all those
>    politicians, there's got to be 1 or 2! I think. ;-) )? See, if we just
>    simply change politicians at every chance, then we throw the baby out
>    with the bathwater, so to speak.  The simple solutions aren't always
>    the best ones." -- [email protected], 17 Jul 1998, (+*)
> 
> 2) "ROFLOL!  What's coincidental?  The latest tune that my band, Nobody's
>    Business (in which I play bass and sing) has learned, is Cheap
>    Sunglasses by ZZ Top. If it ain't coinicidence, I got a 'scarecrow' in
>    my band. " -- [email protected], 18 Jul 1998, (+)
> 
> 3) [Subject: Subject: Nomination of Lyndon Larouche to the UNITED NATIONS
>    OF THE FRINGE] "Hey Punks, As a United Nations OF the Cyber Fringe
>    Member,  I am asking for your input on giving Lyndon a nomination.  So
>    far his war crimes only include[...]" -- [email protected], 20 Jul 1998,
>    (+)
> 
> 4) "If you would like information about tempest monitors, computers,
>    printers or secure fax machines, please contact me." --
>    [email protected] (Karen Azoff), 22 Jul 1998, (+)
> 
> I gave up at this point because the clueless list just kept growing. The
> ratio isn't encouraging, especially since I was being generous with what
> is considered a "clueful post."