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SNET: A Little Humor




From: [email protected]
Subject: SNET: A Little Humor
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1998 18:21:38 EST
To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected]


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Congress' Night Before Christmas

"Twas the week before Christmas and those sly little elves,
Our congressmen, labored to better themselves.
They cared not a whit what the public might think
"Let them eat cake," some said with a wink.

And putting their thumbs to the tip of their nose,
they waved as they shouted "Anything goes!"

They scoffed at the thought that we might object,
to a tax cut for the wealthy of a posh percent.
They've got prerequisites-franking, per diem, and more --
bargain-priced haircuts and gyms (three or four!)

Paid speaking engagements and meals on the cuff,
celebrity status -- (they've sure got it tough!),

Yet they claim they're in touch with the man on the street,
as John Q. Public struggles to make both ends meet.
If all workers decided what they were due,
they'd be getting those fat paychecks too!

But while we take cutbacks or raises quite small,
and one out of 20 has no job at all,
our millionaire Congress decides on the budget
land trimming Medicare and Medicaid will do it, they say.

In this season for giving, our Congress is taking.
We've had it with them and our backs are breaking.
With hard times, disasters, and layoffs on our dockets,
we bit the bullet and they fill their pockets!

Oh jobless, oh homeless, oh desperate and needy -
dare anyone say our Congress is greedy?

If in this feeling I'm not alone,
take up your pen or pick up your phone.
As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
let the road of your anger mount to the sky.

Indignant, outraged, appalled and beset
let your congressman know that you won't forget!
When election times comes -- and certain it will --
you're voting him out for passing that bill.

More rapid than eagles, their elections assured
they toasted each other and laughed at the herd.
And I heard them exclaim with adjournment at hand,

"Merry Christmas to us, and the public be damned!


The Audit
===========
A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on
what to wear.  "Wear your shabbiest clothing.  Let him think you are a
pauper," the accountant replied.  

Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite
advice.  "Do not let them intimidate you.  Wear your most elegant suit
and tie."

Confused, the man went to his Rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice,
and requested some resolution of the dilemma.  "Let me tell you a
story," replied the Rabbi.  "A woman, about to be married, asked her
mother what to wear on her wedding night.  'Wear a heavy, long, flannel
nightgown that goes right up to your neck.'  But when she asked her best
friend, she got conflicting advice.  Wear your most sexy negligee, with
a V neck right down to your navel."

The man protested: "What does all this have to do with my problem with
the IRS?"

"No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed."

Does anyone find it strange that we can find humor in the truth?

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