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Farce Virtual has discovered that some persons using the
Internet are not using the names they were born with. We
made this discovery in the wake of criticism of our
discovery of keyboard sniffing programs, a major discovery
we were able to get several reporters to write about.
We consider our latest discovery to signal the imminent
death of Usenet as we know it.
We are taking the unusual step of announcing our discovery
to the world, and in a simultaneous series of articles in
major newspapers, to alert the world to our discovery.
Farce Virtual provides the only reliable solution to this
problem. We do not use in encryption, because many of our
customers say it is too hard to understand. Instead, we
rely on the oldest method in the book: fear, uncertainty,
and doubt. We have invented a new term for this: FUD.
``Using the FUD Factor line of products, our customers are
protected from those who are not using the names that God
gave them,'' said Nathaniel Boringsternlight, Farce
Virtual's chief publicist.
Asked about women on the Net who are using their married
names, Mr. Boringsternlight added, ``It was to deal with
married women that I invented Safe-Tickle.'' No further
explanation of this comment was offered.
There's simply no other way to keep your sanity safe on the
net. The program we have demonstrated completely undermines
the sanity of all known users of the Internet.
--------
Nathaniel Boringsternlight <[email protected]>
Chief Publicist, Farce Virtual Holdings
FAQ & PGP key: [email protected]