Re: Montgolfiering, the Hot Air Balloon of Cryptography

["L. Patrick Elam, III" <patelam3@mindspring.com>]

To nobody@replay.com (Anonymous):

I will use simple words so you can understand.

My IQ is not 207 but I know BS when I see it.  Too much bravado without
substance.  Too much hot air without mass.  You claim that thermodynamics is
about hot air.  Anyone with a basic course in physics knows that
thermodynamics is not just about hot air.

Present the algorithm and it's proof if you want someone to listen or stop
wasting everyones time with your rantings.

Pat

At 10:17 PM 10/29/96 +0100, nobody@replay.com (Anonymous), wrote:
>
>Fie on the small minds that cackle at my brilliance! As a Mensa member and
>founder of the Society for Superintelligent Former NSA Employees, I chortle
>at the baseness of callow criticisms by those doubters and dilletantous
>denigrators of virtual one-time pads and PRNGs (perfect random number
>generators).
>
>Montgolfiering. What is it, you ask? It is demonstrably a new paradigm in
>the evolution of homo sapiens (Parry Messger excepted) toward Shannon's
>dream of a one-time pad needing only a single, easily memorizable number as
>a seed. I have heard only silence when I challenged the so-called
>superbrains of this latargial list to try to determine which number I am
>using as the seed of my system. If you are such great smarty pants, far
>smarter than my colleagues at the NSA and at Mauchly-Wood, why can you not
>then determine this number? Could it be because I have outsmarted you?
>Could it be because I understand the Sufi secrets of picking random numbers
>truly randomly? I submit this to you: 8  31  26  3  19. Now, oh great ones,
>tell me, what is the next number in this sequence?
>
>Ha, you cannot predict this next number, can you, oh gibbering greatnesses?
>Ths proves that my perfect random number genarator (PRNG, for those of you
>too stupid to remember) cannot be broken. Q.E.D.
>
>I question the issue of Parry Messger's objectivity in assessing the
>brilliance of my importations and acidulous assertations. I question
>whether Parry may have a peculiarly pecuniary interest in these affairs?
>Does Parry have an insider, or other position, or interest in one or more
>of the RSA interest? If, this explains his fantastical faith in the core of
>this so-called "RSA" system, which I proved to my colleagues at NSA could
>not possibly be valid. Why, you ask? Because it contains no virtual seed,
>and that which has no seed cannot grow. Q.E.D.--it has been debunked.
>
>Entropy, you quibble? Ha! What is entropy but thermodynamics? And what is
>the topic of thermodynamics, you small-minded ensemble (Gibbs) people who
>never worked for the NSA may ask? Thermodynamics is about hot air. Hot air
>is in balloons. Balloons were pioneered by the Montgolfiers. Thus we come
>full circle (can you understand this, you mental midgets?).  Q.E.D.--it has
>been demystified.
>
>Montgolfiering = a new virtual one time pad based on hot air. Eureka! I
>have found it.
>
>P Information = P * log_base_infinity P
>
>As my colleague Dr. Bronner told me on my last balloon trip to his
>institute in Escondido, "NATURAL! NATURAL! NATURAL! YOU AND THE PLANET -
>CLEAN AND HEALTHY! PURE AND NATURAL CRYPTO COMES FROM WITHIN THE AGENCY."
>
>I pity your eupatrid minds for not accepting the wisdom of the Virtual
>Montgolfiering System (which I have dubbed "VMS"). I guess unintelligent
>creatures such as petty selves are too much like Parry Messger! Your
>mendacious misrepresentations of my brilliance are wounding me deeply--NOT!
>
>Only Dr. Bronner and Dr. Vulis seem capable of understanding the immmense
>mental breakthrough my IQ measured at 207 has provided the world.
>
>I laugh at your sanctimonious snivelings, your bombastic bombardings, and
>your fatuous flatulations.
>
>Remember, they laughed at Galileo. They laughed at Bozo. They laughed at
>Von Daniken. They laughed at Ludwig Plutonium! All of those who leaped at
>the opportunity to take me apart before are now displaying contemptuous
>intellectual pap, that is pap not the other similar word though that also
>applies. Their misleading inculcations did not work so what are they trying
>now. 
>
>Montgolfiering into the hot air, I am,
>
>--KVFP, Esquire, KOTM
>
>(Montgolfiering. Q.E.D.--"it has been deflated")
>
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Patrick Elam
patelam3@atl.mindspring.com    Engineering at its finest!
http://www.mindspring.com

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