Hi! I'm only twelve years old!

[nobody@REPLAY.COM (Anonymous)]

Hi. I'm only twelve, but I'm a real dork, and nobody will talk to me
in the chat rooms.
I was watching 20/20 tonight about sexual predators on the internet
and they had some really cool tips about how to prey on young children.
{If only one child is raped and murdered by sexual predators who learn
 how to use the internet effectively, it will be worth the time and
 trouble for those producing the show.}

Anyway, I have a question for you.
Would I get more people talking to me on the chat lines if I say that
I am a twelve year old interested in sex, or if I say that I am a
sexual predator interested in meeting young boys?
I have never talked to a real FBI agent before and I know I would get
to meet some if I said I am an old fart who wants to bunghole young
boys but they would probably tell my parents, wouldn't they?
I bet I could get a lot more people to talk to me if I told them how
old I really am and that I want to do dirty stuff with old farts. I bet
I could get a lot of free stuff, too.

What do you think? I am asking you because my Doctor in Forest Hills
says you guys know about that stuff. He's not a real doctor, but he
meets me in the park, where I can smoke, so I like him. He says I don't
have prostrate cancer. Boy is that a relief!
I met him in a chat room. He said, "I'm from the cypherpunks, and I'm
here to help you." I found out that his name isn't really John Gilmore,
it's some kind of foreign name, I think. When I asked him if he was
a "real" doctor, he said, "No, but I have an honorary Doctor of Love
degree that was bestowed upon me by the grade four class at the Forest
Hills pubic school." (I think he was making a joke. :?)

I thought I could get people to talk to me on the cypherpunks list,
since you guys are cool, but everyone there thinks I am an asshole,
too. I think I am going to change my name from TruthMonger to something
else.
Do you think that would help?

I spell pretty good for a twelve year old, don't I?

Thanks,
A Twelve Year Old Boy
p.s. - What is fist fucking? Phillip Hallam-Baker wants my answer by
       tommorrow.