Re: [Humor] Kennedy's New Legislation

[Tim May <tcmay@got.net>]

At 4:48 PM -0800 1/2/98, Eric Cordian wrote:

>Newsgroups: alt.true-crime
>Subject: Kennedy Death Spurs Legislative Initiative
>Date: Fri, 02 Jan 1998 22:44:03 GMT
>Message-ID: <68jrg6$eil@dfw-ixnews6.ix.netcom.com>
>
>BOSTON, Mass. (AP) - Sen. Ted Kennedy announced here today that he
>will introduce a bill limiting access to skis and ski poles. The
>"Winter Sports Safety Bill" is believed to be a reaction to the recent
>death of the Senator's nephew Michael Kennedy in a skiing accident.
...

And on a more serious note, one thing this affair shows is that once again,
the Kennedy clan (KC)  lives by different rules. Whether it's Edward
Kennedy getting off in the Mary Jo Kopechne case, when any of us would have
likely been charged with a) drunk driving, b) leaving the scene, c) lying
in an investigation, or whether it's this very same Michael Kennedy getting
off with his underage babysitter....

(Why was he not charged with statutory rape? Because the KC got to the
babysitter and, it is widely reported, bought her off. So why was the
_criminal_ charge of statutory rape not still applied? Because the
babysitter wouldn't testify.)

And so on, over and over again.

Wanna bet that if I was on the hill in Aspen horsing around playing ski
football and behaving like a drunken lout with a bunch of other people the
ski patrol would whistle us down and tell us to knock it off?

Justice has always been for sale in America. But with tens of thousands of
new laws, the effects are just becoming more obvious.

I say the death of Michael Kennedy, as with the death of Princess Di, was
just an example of evolution in action. (An imperfect example, of course,
as Di had already been bred.)

Regrettably, this satire about the Safe Slopes and Children's Protection
Act of 1998 is on the mark. Clueless bimbos like Swinestein, who's never
passed up a chance to make another law, will be jockeying for regulation of
the ski slopes...even as the Kennedy Clan remains exempt.

--Tim May


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