Re: Hate Code in Unix

[Interstate 95 <I95@nym.alias.net>]

On Thu, 27 Aug 1998, Wilhelm Klink wrote:

> 
>                     Top Ten Offensive Things in Unix
>
>  1.  "man sex" responds with "no manual entry for sex".


SEX(1)              EUNUCH Programmer's Manual             SEX(1)

NAME
       sex -- have sex

SYNOPSIS
       sex [options] ...  [username] ...

DESCRIPTION
       sex allows the invoker to have sex with the user(s) speci-
       fied in the command line.  If no users are specified, they
       are  taken  from the LOVERS environment variable.  Options
       to make things more interesting are as follows:

       -1     masturbate

       -a     external stimulus (aphrodisiac) option

       -b     buggery

       -B animal
              bestiality with animal

       -c     chocolate sauce option

       -C     chaining option (cuffs included) (see  also  -m  -s
              -W)

       -d file
              get a date with the features described in file

       -e     exhibitionism  (image  sent  to all machines on the
              net)

       -f     foreplay option

       -F     nasal sex with plants

       -i     coitus interruptus (messy!)

       -j     jacuzzi option (California sites only)

       -l     leather option

       -m     masochism (see -s)

       -M     triple parallel (Menage a Trois) option

       -n     necrophilia (if target process is not dead, program
              kills it)

       -o     oral option

       -O     parallel access (orgy)

       -p     debug option (proposition only)

                                                                1
       -m     masochism (see -s)

       -M     triple parallel (Menage a Trois) option

       -n     necrophilia (if target process is not dead, program
              kills it)

       -o     oral option

       -O     parallel access (orgy)

       -p     debug option (proposition only)

                                                                1

SEX(1)              EUNUCH Programmer's Manual             SEX(1)

       -P     pedophilia (must specify a child process)

       -q     quickie (wham, bam, thank you, ma'am)

       -s     sadism (target must set -m)

       -S     sundae option

       -v     voyeurism (surveys the entire net)

       -w     whipped cream option

       -W     whips (see also -s, -C, and -m)

ENVIRONMENT
       LOVERS is a list of default partners which will be used if
              none are specified in the command line.  If any are
              specified, the values in LOVERS is ignored.

FILES
       /usr/lib/sex/animals
              animals for bestiality

       /usr/lib/sex/blackbook
              possible dates

       /usr/lib/sex/sundaes
              sundae recipes

       /usr/lib/sex/s&m
              sado-masochistic equipment

BUGS
       ^C     (quit process) may leave the user very unsatisfied.

       ^Z     (stop process) is usually quite messy.

HISTORY
       Oldest program ever.

                                                                2