Hooked on Ebonics

[azur@netcom.com (Steve Schear)]

Now that the new Afrocentric Ebonic language is officially recognized, we
have a lot of work to do. Having textbooks published in English and Hip Hop
is going to be daunting. New educational tapes, "Hooked on Ebonics" will
have to be produced.  Answers to test questions will have to be analyzed
and converted, and an entire new dictionary will need to be established.
You know what I'm sayin'?

In some ways life will get much simpler.  No longer will we be burdened
with the cumbersome task of searching our minds for the proper adjective,
pronoun, or participle.  An expletive invoking another's mother will be the
only adjective, pronoun, or metaphor in the new Ebonics dictionary.
Bernard Shaw and Alan Keyes could get rid of that bothersome eloquence and
perfect diction and rap it back Black, lay it on me bro.

I'm curious about the "N word."  Will that be allowed?  I do hear it a lot
in movies centered around life in the ethnic neighborhoods of L.A. or
Oakland.  The reason I ask is because where I work you'll be severely fired
if you toss out the "N word."  We'll need to have clarification. It would
be kind of strange to have an official language that only one ethnic group
is allowed to use.

Maybe if we could get Texaconics declared an official language of the
corporate elite we could give those guys at Texaco their jobs back.  Ross
Perot could say, "You people" with impunity.  As a matter of fact we can
have an official language for however you want to talk.  Bigotonics,
Stupidonics, Stoneronics, Skatersonics, Preppyonics and last but not least,
I can't get a decent job anywhere in the world because I was educated in
the Oakland School Districtonics.