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Bean Counting

  After giving careful consideration to the amount of press coverage
dedicated to the bombing of the Oklahoma City Federal Building, and 
judging the proportion of outrage over the deaths of the children in
the daycare center compared to the amount of outrage over the remaining
victims, I have come to the conclusion that in the interests of saving
lives terrorists and psychos should be encouraged to murder the youngest
children possible.
  While my studies are preliminary, they indicate that terroists and
madmen would only have to kill half as many people to achieve comparable
results in the arena of publicity and public attention if they were to
confine their slaughter to young children. This figure declines further
if the children are white, and even further yet if they are cute.
  By promoting cute young white children as the target of preference
for terroists and crazy people, we could save innumerable lives each
and every year.

Next Week: The role of Senior Citizens in slow check-out lines.