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New Developments in Fascist Mind Control

I have some amazing news to report!

  After considerable research, I have developed two technological tools
which can be used to manipulate and control the minds of practically
all living humans.
  One tool serves the purpose of seizing control of the individual's 
attention and putting them into a hypnotic state of consiousness where
they can be manipulated into a narrow mind-set.
  The other tool is designed to store and analyze a wide range of data
about every aspect of an individual's life, in order to enhance the
effectiveness of the first tool.

  While I initially had worries that these two tools might possibly be
used by people with bad intentions to seize control of mankind and
enrich themselves beyound belief, I found, after closer study, that 
the two tools I have invented already exist, and have not been used
for these evil ends, to date.
  Since TV's and Computers have not been abused, so far, in an attempt
by those greedy for power and money to manipulate the people into a
position where they can be enslaved and oppressed, I feel that there
is no possibility of this happening in the future, despite the ravings
of a few wild-eyed conspiracy theorists.

  I mean, get real, eh?

The Real Guy