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InfoWar 13 / HTML

Title: The True Story of the Internet Part II

The True Story of the InterNet
Part III


Final Frontier of the Digital Revolution

Behind the ElectroMagnetic Curtain

by TruthMonger <[email protected]>

Copyright 1997 Pearl Publishing

InfoWar Table of Contents

Subject: Anonymous TruthMailer Abuse

To: [email protected]
From: TruthMailer <[email protected]>

X-Mailer: WinSock Remailer Version ALPHA1.3B

X-Comments: "I am not an asshole, but I play one in real life."
X-Comments: "I don't make it up. I just make it better."

X-Comments: This message is NOT from TruthMonger.
X-Comments: It was sent by an automated anonymous asshole
X-Comments: through a Cypherpunk remailer under the alleged
X-Comments: auspices of the Electronic Forgery Foundation.

X-Comments: Note: Send any complaints about abuse of this remailer
X-Comments: to the person most concerned about your rights and
X-Comments: freedoms. (Hint: It's a "mirror" site.)

X-Remailer-Setup: Maximum Message Size -- INFINITE
X-Remailer-Setup: Reordering is RANDOM
X-Remailer-Setup: Subject Header FORGED
X-Remailer-Setup: Logging RIDICULOUS Messages
X-Remailer-Setup: No STRONGHOLD messages accepted

Subject: !!! DEATH THREAT !!!

I have taken the liberty of sending a death threat to someone and
forging your name and digiture to it. (No need to thank me, I just
like to help out.)
I don't usually take this kind of arbitrary action (unless I'm
running low on meds) but I thought drastic measures were called for
when I came across evidence that your name is about to be sullied and
your business endangered, due to a plot between a psychotic lunatic
and an employee of yours who is an agent for a secret organization
which has been responsible for inspiring and supporting a wide range
of anti-technological terrorists, including the UnaBomber and the
genius behind the PS/2.

Who are these people, you ask? (I have extremely good ears.)
Bubba Rom Dos, TruthMonger and Blanc Weber.
All card-carrying members of the Circle of Eunuchs.

I have long suspected that a series of underground manuscripts titled
'The True Story of the InterNet' had, as their ultimate aim, the total
destruction of MicroSoft.

Sure enough, in Part III of the series, "InfoWar," the author, known as
TruthMonger, suggests:
"Video_World, and TV_World. Those were the titles we had put to Part II
of 'The True Story of the InterNet.' But that was before the censorship
crisis on the CypherPunks mailing list, when we saw the sticky, tangled
tentacles that lay at the root of the World Wide Web.
"And before Gomez began to build his Evil Empire on the cornerstone of

Part II, "WebWorld & the Mythical Circle of Eunuchs," reveals the
role played by Blanc Weber in her subversive intentions to help in the
destruction of MicroSoft, with the goal of promoting her own secret technologies.
Apparently, HydroCube storage technology had been in existence for some
time before its official announcement by BabyGates Technology. The Kid,
as she was called, had been the daughter, lover, or employee of the
richest man in the world, depending on which version of this era you
believed. Her star had risen, even as Microsoft's star had begun to
fall, mostly as a result of her development of the HydroCube, with its
nearly infinite data-storage capacity.

And now, Jonathan had reason to believe that the Kid had actually been
a member of the CypherPunks, masquerading under the pseudonym of
Blanc Weber.

So, as you can plainly see, it is only a matter of time before these
self-proclaimed Freeh->dumb Fighters decide to begin openly attacking
you with slanderous truths about yourself, Gomez and the Dark Allies,
the lady midget wrestler and the bed full of chickens, as well as the
role of Susan Canizales as your dietary aide.

Yes, I know...you are shaking in your boots at the prospect of these
facts coming out (complete with 4"x8" color graphics), but there *are*
actions you can take to thwart these dire possibilities.
Fortunately, Part III is being released on the [email protected]
mailing list, under the TruthMonger multi-user persona, who has formed
a secret alliance with the Cypherpunks' distributed persona, Anonymous.
Thus, if you act quickly, you might be able to strike first, writing
your own chapter of Part III and sending it to the Cypherpunks list,
anonymously, copyrighting it as "TruthMonger <[email protected]>"
in order to piss in the face of the known list forger who is known to
be responsible for many of the chapters submitted. (Then you could sue
the bastard!)

In *your* chapter, you could give yourself any role you desired in the
history, present and future of humankind.
My suggestion would be to beat these rapscallions to the punch by using
the Taoist tactic of creating 'yourself' as an evil creature of your
own design--far more diabolical than even your enemies could imagine.

The Circle of Eunuchs would then be honor-bound, as cross-matchers
(under NLP theology), to assign you a role as a secret hero in a later
chapter, thus saving you the embarrassment of having to blow your own
horn to keep the Universe in balance.
Sameer, president of C2Net, is reportedly under heavy medication
by his physician as the result of the stress of trying to think of
something positive he can say about himself and his organization,
under the savage attacks against his corporation and his private person
by these evil conspirators.

In conclusion, I would add that it is traditional to reward/torture
the masochistic, paranoid schizophrenic who supplies many of the more
bizarre of the CoE's conspiracy theories, by adding some subtle hint
pointing to some future event in history, based on your own inside
knowledge. (The point being to make it glaringly obvious to crazed
conspiracy theorists, but something that will make them look like a
'lunatic' if they try pointing it out to normal people.)
An AT&T employee once made a prophetic claim in the series to an event
which proved to be true in concept, way off-base in details, except that
he inserted a reference to the Message ID number of the future email
he foresaw, and then released the announcement months later with a
Message ID that was the reverse of the foretold one...

Beware of white lipstick,
A. Fiend

Copyright "Martin Minow <[email protected]>
"Are you a man, or a Minnow?"

Electronic Forgery Foundation

The wild-eyed, disheveled figure sat hunched over the keyboard of his laptop, frantically seeking meaning in the words that lay before him.

"Hello, Dimitri. How are you feeling today?"

The mad doctor furtively lowered the screen on his laptop, hiding his important work from the prying eyes of his patient.

"Hello, Igor." Dr. Dimitri Vulis, KOTM said, eyeing the patient suspiciously.

"Please, call me Igor." the Kremlin spy replied, causing Dr. Vulis to quickly search his mind and memory to recall their conversation to this point. Nothing there…

Igor Chudov eyed the evil Doctor's laptop suspiciously, raising his eyebrows ever so slightly, but enough so that Dimitri could tell exactly what he was thinking. He could even tell what the patient's next words would be, in regard to his excess use of power in the 'Home' to run his spambots.

Igor, speaking softly, then raising his voice as he leaned closer and closer to Dr. Vulis, asked, "We wouldn't be writing a letter about our good friend, SAMEER, would we?"

Dimitri jumped up in terror, clutching the laptop to his breast. They knew! They knew about his regression into his paranoid C2Net conspiracy theories.
Now they would punish him again, possibly even going so far as to make him install the Windows operating system on another of his UNIX boxes. Dimitri steeled himself for the patient's verdict.

Igor relaxed, sat down on the edge of the table, and said, casually, "Just kidding, Dimitri. I know that you're working on your EFF material."
Dimitri eyed Igor suspiciously, but Igor merely continued, "Don't worry Dimitri, I am in favor of your creation of the Electronic Forgery Foundation." He couldn't resist adding, "Very clever of you to plant all of that evidence pointing toward Toto as the source of the plethora of forgeries to the CypherPunks list."

A shit-eating grin spread across Dr. Vulis' face as he realized that, this time, he had been caught for doing something he wouldn't be punished for. Rewarded, perhaps?
Cautiously, Dr. Vulis asked Igor, "So can I have more medication? All of the others in treatment here are getting better drugs than me, because they are patients being treated by doctors. Why am I the only doctor being treated by a patient?"

"Now Dimitri," Igor shook his head, negatively, "you are exaggerating again. You know that John Young and Robert Hettinga are the only two here who are getting better drugs than you, and it is only occasionally, when they share a room, and then only in order to increase their pleasure when they engage in…uuhhh…CypherPunk activities."

Dimitri got angry, as Igor knew would result from feeding his fantasies, "I know what you're talking about!" Dimitri always got…uuhhh…'excited', when this subject came up.
"They're sucking each other's cocks! This place is full of cocksuckers, and the biggest one of all is cocksucker John <spit> Gilmore <fart>!"

Igor enjoyed getting Dimitri worked up into a lather before leaving him to continue with his openly-secret activities. As he closed and locked Dr. Vulis' door, he shouted to him, "I'll have Ray Arachelian look in on you a little later."

"Keep that murdering Armenian bastard away from me!" Dr. Vulis screamed in terror, before becoming distracted by a passing fly and forgetting what it was that he was so angry about.
No matter. He would get mad about something else, instead. After all, he was a Freedom Knight. Being an angry, aggressive activist fighting valiantly against petty nuisances that most people just ignore was a Freedom Knight tradition.
Dr. Vulis opened up his laptop and bent over to attend to his important work, once again.

Dimitri checked two names off of his list. The President, and the Big Kid, BillyG.

Now that he had set up his unwitting shill, Toto…? the Lunatic, he reminded himself…, by sending veiled threats to two of the most powerful figures in the Freeh World, he would now begin to close his evil, circuitous trap by turning his attention to pissing off other world leaders, with ? the Lunatic acting as the exposed target, once again.
He had pissed off Apple Computers, as well, by attributing the anonymous email to BillyG to an Apple employee. Now he would divert suspicion 'from' himself by attributing this chapter of Part III 'to' himself, so that everyone would think that it must surely be another forgery by ? the Lunatic.

[email protected]
Subject: Salman Rushdie

Dear Saddam,

Salman Rushdie is in hiding in Bienfait, Saskatchewan, living under an assumed name after having had radical plastic surgery to disguise his appearance.

He is trying to redeem himself with Allah by building a nuclear bomb with which to nuke D.C., but he is inadequate for the task. However, do you remember Lee Harvey Oswald? If not, then surely you are aware of Timothy McVeigh…

Copyright "Anonymous <[email protected]>"
Brighton Beach Boardwalk BBS, Forest Hills, N.Y.: +1-718-261-2013, 14.4Kbps

"The Xenix Chainsaw Massacre"

"WebWorld & the Mythical Circle of Eunuchs"

"InfoWar (Part III of 'The True Story of the InterNet')