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[CTRL] Polygamous Paradise!
From: Lyn McCloskey <[email protected]>
Subject: [CTRL] Polygamous Paradise!
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1998 12:35:12 -0500
To: [email protected]
Take a number...
NEW UTOPIA RISES FROM THE SEA
‘Prince’ Lazarus Promises to Save Citizens from Death, Taxes
MATT WELCH reports
[Dec. 9, 1998] -- Don't worry, people: Despite delays caused by Hurricane
Mitch, New Utopia will still rise from the waters of the sea in time to
beat the millennial apocalypse.
Lazarus Long, a wealthy 67-year-old Oklahoman whose name was Howard Turney
until three years ago, says his longtime dream of constructing a
libertarian island paradise on top of three shallow Caribbean reefs has
been only slightly postponed by the hurricane's effects on New Utopia's
"We were in the process of negotiating a trade treaty with the Honduran
government officials," New Utopia Information Officer Grace Caswell wrote
on the island's website. "Prince Lazarus had gone to Washington to meet
with the Honduran ambassador to the U.S. He, in turn, was to present it to
President Flores on November 1st. That is the day that the hurricane
'Mitch' struck their country."
"Honduras claims a 200-mile exclusive economic zone, so without recognition
of New Utopia as a sovereign nation we can't begin construction without
risk of being annexed by Honduras at some future date."
If it sounds like these people are talking about building their own country
on a fake island in the sea -- well, that's because they are.
Once an agreement with Honduras is reached, the founders say, the reefs
will be fitted with steel girders and gigantic platforms of pre-fabricated
concrete. Construction of air and sea ports will commence, followed by
housing, a university, an anti-aging clinic, offshore banks and a casino.
Citizens will live in a tax-free constitutional monarchy not too far off
the coasts of Mexico and Honduras. Marijuana will be legal and polygamy
The Ageless Sovereign
His Royal Highness Prince Lazarus Long wants it known that he is not
joking. As Howard Turney, he had a long and successful career as a maverick
businessman after initial stints as a cowboy and soldier. He was in the
restaurant biz, marketed groceries, farmed shrimp and sold used generators,
before having his life changed by the human growth hormone, London's
In 1990, at the age of 59, Turney was a badly aging mess, with a 44-inch
waist and shaky hands, the paper reported. After reading a report about the
magic of the then-illegal human growth hormone, Long got a connection in
Monterey, Mexico and began mainlining the stuff. Now, without exercising
seriously, he's lost the shakes, has rock-hard muscles and a 32-inch waist,
the paper said.
"I'm 66 going on 40," he told the Independent. "And I've not had any
negative side effects at all."
Moved, Turney founded a network of anti-aging clinics administering the
wonder drug, and made a bundle. It was then that he really began
identifying with one of the signature heroes of the novels of libertarian
sci-fi scribbler Robert A. Heinlein -- Lazarus Long.
In "Methuselah's Children," and especially "Time Enough for Love,"
Heinlein's Long holds forth as an ageless man of wisdom and sex, hurtling
through the centuries with fabulous naked babes on his arm, and dispensing
philosophical tidbits with wit and humor. At age 64, Howard Turney became
Lazarus Long; soon after he declared himself prince of the New Utopia.
As a dispenser of his own wisdom, Long echoes many modern-day followers of
objectivist Ayn Rand when they try to talk about foreign affairs:
"The United States used to prosper because it was relatively free in an
unfree world," he writes on the website. "Now, without changing much
itself, the U.S. is relatively unfree in a much freer world. This creates a
competitive condition, which tends to favor an enclave like Hong Kong,
which practices true free market capitalism, rather than a welfare state
like the U.S., which is committed to burdensome taxes, which penalize
Long tries his hand at a sort of poetry:
"Excellence can be attained if you care more than others think is wise
Risk more than others think is safe
Dream more than others think is practical
Expect more than others think is possible."
A Tropical Venice
New Utopia already has a constitution, a board of governors and more than
500 citizens, the website says. Prospective residents need only to buy a
$1,500 five-year bond, payable at 9.5% compound annual interest. The
projected price tag on creating an island where there is now only water is
$216 billion, which will be financed by Long, citizens, prospective
businesses and old-fashioned real estate developers.
Offshore finance, tourism, medicine and education are targeted as the main
sectors of New Utopia's economy, and Long plans on building a stimulating
environment for the super-citizens.
Utopians will enjoy "classical architecture, immaculate public parks, a
comparable governing body, and a stable political structure, with the same
freedom from crime and taxation," the site says. "Resident citizens and
visitors will experience it more as a tropical 'Venice,' complete with
waterways and gondolas."
Free from messy bureaucracy like property taxes, welfare rolls and industry
regulation, residents will serve as guinea pigs for the newest drugs and
"There are things on the horizon that people today can only dream about,"
Long told the Independent. "We are not that far from being able to live
multiples of what we look at now as the maximum lifespan. ... [There are]
things I can't tell you about because they were told me in confidence. ...
Tests and studies are going on. ... Turn your tape recorder off."
For now, New Utopia planners will continue processing immigration requests
from their office in East Tulsa, Oklahoma. The first concrete platform is
now scheduled for January, though the date has now been pushed back at
least six different times. And the pesky Hondurans, currently distracted by
the brutal wreckage of Hurricane Mitch, still need to recognize New
Still, "We are steadfast in our date of December 1, 1999 as the celebration
of our birth as a nation. Even if all the desired infrastructure is not in
place, it will be in the construction phase, the airport will be finished
and the government will be in office."
Get in line at the official website: http://www.new-utopia.com/
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